This week, most people have been talking about how the 17 of June marked a turning point in the lives of repressed Saudi women! Given how almost all of the Middle East of late has been showing impressive implementations of the legendary domino/ snowballing effect, it cones as no surprise that one bold woman taking to the streets in a car sparked off a whole revolution which finally culminated in a law allowing women to drive in Saudi Arabia. People in places like India may ask, what's the big deal? I was speaking to this gentleman who lives in my apartment complex when he was discussing an episode where his SUV gave way just before his rather large family was to go on a Rojas trip, and he was describing to me his frantic attempts at finding another driver as he had to split the family into two cars and he had already declared 'vacation time' to his regular chauffeur ( known as driver in India) "doesn't your wife drive?" I asked innocently. "Of course not. Why should she?" came the reply. "But don't you ever wish to drive?" I asked looking at the wife. " I choose not to! Driver hai na? And when we go as a family, Jignesh drives", she said referring to her husband.
Therein lies the difference.
A greater part of female urban India around middle age, doesn't drive. One, because when they were younger at licensable age, they were lower down the economic spectrum and a car never crossed their minds. Now, they're on the opposite end, and not having a chauffeur is demeaning on the 'log-kya-kahenge' arena! Secondly, the women had a choice. Never were they prevented by law, from anything, driving included. But for Saudi women, they were prevented by a weird law, which for some inexplicable reason prevented them from driving. The minute there is a denial, a rebellious urge to have that which is denied, springs up. Much like a child's tantrum or a diabetic craving for sweets. The issue, though, has been more symbolic, than anything else. Unreasonable repression of all kinds needs to go. Restricting women from driving has no logical basis other than blatantly declaring that some men want to prove ascendancy in a lame, almost desperate manner. Otherwise, how can it explain closeted driving skills? How exactly did the women learn to drive in the first place? Clearly they and their fathers, brothers and husbands care a jot about the law and it is perhaps the regressive cleric alone who holds on to his view! If anything, the women take the allowance to drive as a symbol that they may one day, finally find their own voice in all aspects of daily human life.
As an aside, though, my sympathies to Saudi society. There lay a society with lesser idiocy on roads. Even yesterday, I hurled a bunch of silent expletives at a 'late-evening sunglasses touting', 'make-up clad yet not-so-PYT' who clearly bribed her way to get a license! No, I am not being judgmental. I am a female driver myself with scant regard for my clan, although my sterling skills behind the wheel have been certified by my 0 crash record, and also by scores of my darker sex friends who strongly believe that I am an exception to the lady-driver category! But what the offending female driver did and why I was half in a mind to screech past her car, stop abruptly in complete filmy style, step out in stilettos, grab the woman's hair and slap her face real hard, I will leave to 'driving me crazy -ii' But till then, Saudis can now enjoy the phenomenon of abrupt lane cutting, left indicators before a right turn, indicators with no turns, terrible parking skills, middle of the road stopping and many other such wonderful antics of the fairer sex behind the wheel!
Sunday, June 19, 2011
Friday, June 17, 2011
Risky business!
Old man Newton once upon a time said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Given the number of engineers who end up becoming fin geeks, it is no doubt that such a dictum forms the basis of the whole finance industry. For every risk averse guy out there, there is an equal risk-loving guy out there too! You make your profits by expending effort in looking that dude up. Which is why, the episode of a Chinese entrepreneur hurling abuses at Morgan for purposefully underpricing their IPO looks bizarre!
Now the story caught my eye not just because it involved Chinese, IPOs and Morgan. But because it was an out and out war on.... TWITTER! Speak about suits in wall street putting their BBs to good use. The issue was more like the Chinese entrepreneur of an e-commerce company called Dangdang (I know!!! wonder how bankers managed to go past the name in the first place) was disappointed when his IPO was priced at $16, but opened and settled at $29. Close to $240 million apparently was 'left on the table', or rather was money that could have been got with niftier pricing! A war of expletives broke out on Twitter between Mr. Dangdang and someone claiming to belong to Morgan. I say claiming, since Morgan was quick to wash it's hands off this dirty business.
But the issue is not so much the use of Twitter or the entrepreneur's endless tirade but rather how exactly is one to quantify risk. Morgan underwrote the issue, which, in other words means that if the IPO went undersold, they would pick up the pieces at the issue price. So obviously, being the risk absorber in the face of the ebullient risk-loving entrepreneur, by Newton's law, Morgan is bound to be risk averse and hence cautious. Besides, underwritten IPOs have an inherent conflict of interest, is perhaps a given, as they need to set the best price for the client, while minimizing their losses. So, in all honesty, Newton perhaps dictated the price!
One place where Newton's law does not apply though, is in the wonderful world of insurance, which perhaps has been the theme of countless books and movies to date, with the term 'pre-existing condition' being used akin to a cuss word in places! The most elegant part of insurance is the inherent irony in the whole concept. One, usually the more risk averse people are the ones who prefer to get insured, in order to protect themselves in the event of a rainy day. However, while Newton might have said that a risk lover is to be coupled with a risk-averse entity, as it turns out, given the wriggly, defensive stance taken by most insurers, you wonder why two risk-averse individuals have been thrown together into the bond of not-such-a-holy matrimony!
All in all, the fact remains that Newton not just missed out on a lovely red apple, but also set the very foundations of the frameworks that underlie this risky business!
Now the story caught my eye not just because it involved Chinese, IPOs and Morgan. But because it was an out and out war on.... TWITTER! Speak about suits in wall street putting their BBs to good use. The issue was more like the Chinese entrepreneur of an e-commerce company called Dangdang (I know!!! wonder how bankers managed to go past the name in the first place) was disappointed when his IPO was priced at $16, but opened and settled at $29. Close to $240 million apparently was 'left on the table', or rather was money that could have been got with niftier pricing! A war of expletives broke out on Twitter between Mr. Dangdang and someone claiming to belong to Morgan. I say claiming, since Morgan was quick to wash it's hands off this dirty business.
But the issue is not so much the use of Twitter or the entrepreneur's endless tirade but rather how exactly is one to quantify risk. Morgan underwrote the issue, which, in other words means that if the IPO went undersold, they would pick up the pieces at the issue price. So obviously, being the risk absorber in the face of the ebullient risk-loving entrepreneur, by Newton's law, Morgan is bound to be risk averse and hence cautious. Besides, underwritten IPOs have an inherent conflict of interest, is perhaps a given, as they need to set the best price for the client, while minimizing their losses. So, in all honesty, Newton perhaps dictated the price!
One place where Newton's law does not apply though, is in the wonderful world of insurance, which perhaps has been the theme of countless books and movies to date, with the term 'pre-existing condition' being used akin to a cuss word in places! The most elegant part of insurance is the inherent irony in the whole concept. One, usually the more risk averse people are the ones who prefer to get insured, in order to protect themselves in the event of a rainy day. However, while Newton might have said that a risk lover is to be coupled with a risk-averse entity, as it turns out, given the wriggly, defensive stance taken by most insurers, you wonder why two risk-averse individuals have been thrown together into the bond of not-such-a-holy matrimony!
All in all, the fact remains that Newton not just missed out on a lovely red apple, but also set the very foundations of the frameworks that underlie this risky business!
Saturday, June 11, 2011
The Bai Chronicles - I
Maids have been in the news recently, for all the wrong reasons! What started a couple of years ago with Shiney Ahuja in India, seemed to afflict even the ex-IMF chief, and our very own Terminator took the idiocy a step further, by literally 'keeping a house' with his housekeeper! So much for maids dictating people's lives! And I thought that I was the only one with the dubious honor of having allowed my maid to wrap my whole life around her little finger! I seem to have a horoscope that shuns hired help! If a maid so much as dares to agree to come work at my place, Rahu, Ketu, the maid's 'marad', the aunty who lives upstairs who incidentally was her ex-employer all wreak havoc with my peace and cruelly whisk her away. If I fight against my stars and manage to find someone (fight sounds nice, but plead with every maid who walks past my building gates is more like it) she ends up being someone with the work ethic of a vagabond!
So once this lady made bold and came home, with the intention of being employed by us. How my anti-maid track record went off unnoticed is beyond me. Praise be to the fact that she was just recently married and she'd only just come from her gaon! I explained everything to her and she said she'd work here! Yaaaaayyyyy, I almost screamed out loud. She then asked me to keep her number just in case. "Madam, aapka number do, mein meees call maarti hoon", she said, pulling out a swanky looking touch screen phone from a decrepit plastic bag. I thought back about my own strictly functional, terribly scratched, un-stealable brick phone and told her that my phone was in the other room, and that she should give me a call and I'd store the number when I next saw the phone! The next day, a Saturday, I got myself a hair appointment, having found a new found freedom from 'bhaandi ghaas' and 'jhaadu'! I walked over to the salon, and savored every moment of freedom. I had to spend a good 4 hours there, getting my hair straightened. I made the cautious, half-hopeful call back home and was very happy to know that the lady with shining cell phone had indeed turned up. I relaxed and went through the intense hair-straightening experience, at peace with the world!
The next day, while I was on a strict 'no water on your hair' and an even stricter 'no clips on your tresses' and the strictest 'no hair behind ears' routine, the morning was slipping by, and there was no sign of the woman of the moment! Fearing the worst, I made The Call! The call didn't go through. Thinking my dilapidated phone was perhaps to blame, I tried with another phone. Yet no luck. Frantic attempts later, amidst a massive cacophony that sounded more like a movie theater in the background, a voice answered. 'Haan, mein baahar hai. Kal aake baat karega'. And click. No explanations, whatsoever. Not even a courteous moment of conversation to a lady whose hair was saturated with chemicals! Anxious to know why she hadn't turned up, I tried calling her again. She cut my call. Not to be put off so easily, while feeling a little embarrassed myself, I decided to try one last time. And I was met with the dreaded 'Jya numbershi tumhi samparka saadhu icchitat, toh sadhya banda aahey'. I gave up. Wrapping a scarf around my chemically endowed tresses, I set to work. Hoping the few thousands I'd belted out on my hair wouldn't literally be washed down the sink.
The next day, the dame arrived and declared that her marad felt that she was working too much and hence she shouldn't come work here any more! Aaaaagh! "Tell your marad to talk to me!' I almost begged. I would have gladly bribed that marad fellow to just let my cellular maid stay! 'Nahin. Kal poora din mere peeth mein darad tha. Uthne ko hi nahin hua! Mera marad na bolta hai', she said. (Apparently her back was in agony all day yesterday and her husband told her no more working!) I was tempted to ask her whether her house was a movie theater and the seats there comprised of her bed, but I wanted to salvage the bai as much as I could! As it turned out, the love shove between them was too much to fall for bribes, increased pay, lesser work et al and I was left again with straight hair and no maid!
I have a billion such stories and I could write a whole book on my maidscapades! But so much for now!
So once this lady made bold and came home, with the intention of being employed by us. How my anti-maid track record went off unnoticed is beyond me. Praise be to the fact that she was just recently married and she'd only just come from her gaon! I explained everything to her and she said she'd work here! Yaaaaayyyyy, I almost screamed out loud. She then asked me to keep her number just in case. "Madam, aapka number do, mein meees call maarti hoon", she said, pulling out a swanky looking touch screen phone from a decrepit plastic bag. I thought back about my own strictly functional, terribly scratched, un-stealable brick phone and told her that my phone was in the other room, and that she should give me a call and I'd store the number when I next saw the phone! The next day, a Saturday, I got myself a hair appointment, having found a new found freedom from 'bhaandi ghaas' and 'jhaadu'! I walked over to the salon, and savored every moment of freedom. I had to spend a good 4 hours there, getting my hair straightened. I made the cautious, half-hopeful call back home and was very happy to know that the lady with shining cell phone had indeed turned up. I relaxed and went through the intense hair-straightening experience, at peace with the world!
The next day, while I was on a strict 'no water on your hair' and an even stricter 'no clips on your tresses' and the strictest 'no hair behind ears' routine, the morning was slipping by, and there was no sign of the woman of the moment! Fearing the worst, I made The Call! The call didn't go through. Thinking my dilapidated phone was perhaps to blame, I tried with another phone. Yet no luck. Frantic attempts later, amidst a massive cacophony that sounded more like a movie theater in the background, a voice answered. 'Haan, mein baahar hai. Kal aake baat karega'. And click. No explanations, whatsoever. Not even a courteous moment of conversation to a lady whose hair was saturated with chemicals! Anxious to know why she hadn't turned up, I tried calling her again. She cut my call. Not to be put off so easily, while feeling a little embarrassed myself, I decided to try one last time. And I was met with the dreaded 'Jya numbershi tumhi samparka saadhu icchitat, toh sadhya banda aahey'. I gave up. Wrapping a scarf around my chemically endowed tresses, I set to work. Hoping the few thousands I'd belted out on my hair wouldn't literally be washed down the sink.
The next day, the dame arrived and declared that her marad felt that she was working too much and hence she shouldn't come work here any more! Aaaaagh! "Tell your marad to talk to me!' I almost begged. I would have gladly bribed that marad fellow to just let my cellular maid stay! 'Nahin. Kal poora din mere peeth mein darad tha. Uthne ko hi nahin hua! Mera marad na bolta hai', she said. (Apparently her back was in agony all day yesterday and her husband told her no more working!) I was tempted to ask her whether her house was a movie theater and the seats there comprised of her bed, but I wanted to salvage the bai as much as I could! As it turned out, the love shove between them was too much to fall for bribes, increased pay, lesser work et al and I was left again with straight hair and no maid!
I have a billion such stories and I could write a whole book on my maidscapades! But so much for now!
Friday, June 10, 2011
The Media's Favorite Husain
The papers screamed out 'India's Picasso dies in exile'. And if the headlines weren't enough, the life and times of M F Husain were covered in vivid detail in the inner pages. All along, in my opinion, underscoring the very hypocrisy that defines us! Harsh? Yes. But true.
To be honest, I didn't really know about the whole controversy. I did know that MFH was involved in a 'nude painting' row that involved Hindu goddesses, but I didn't know about the quasi fatwa issued against him by Hindu factions, and I definitely did not know that these Hindu factions were epitomized by the 'holier than thou' entity who runs Mumbai as his fiefdom, who has taken the responsibility of safeguarding 'Indian culture and moral values' even if means of safeguarding involved vandalism and mindless rioting and disruption of law and order!
My thought and hence the purpose of this post was manifold! One, nudity in art is something we've known since caveman times. That painters, sculptors and photographers have a thing for the nude human form is a known fact. To the extent that I read somewhere that artistes make a distinction between 'nude' which is natural and free-flowing artistic, and 'naked' which is supposedly suggestive art, although both are to be considered aesthetic! Why they gloss over nudity, is something I can never understand. They say they are catering to a greater human consciousness, although I feel they're just pandering to a larger human population! But then again, I accept that I am not an authority on art, not even a novice! But we've all seen 'David' and studied about renaissance art in history books. So MFH really did not manage to do something pathbreaking like his predecessor Van Gogh who pioneered the use of the color yellow! So why did we create such a ruckus in the first place?
Second, why did MFH need to rile Hindu sentiments? Everyone knows that people in India take their Gods and Goddesses very very seriously. Our Goddesses are not akin to Greek Goddesses, who have forever been depicted in a certain way. So why not respect that part of what is intrinsically Indian and not 'firangify' everything! So if not for free publicity, what else could have been the motivation for such depiction? Why not call her Svetlana and the Veena? Making the picture just any picture, not necessarily tied to any religious sentiment! Ah! But that wouldn't have gathered so much publicity, including tomes being printed and published post his demise!
Third, why did we fly off the handle in 1996 about a picture that was actually painted in 1970! If not for blatant hankering for eyeball space by the media, who published the picture in the first place, and then again by political powers who suddenly found themselves turned into toothless tigers with no meat to chew on, what else could explain such unnecessary, irrelevant controversy creation? And then the whole 'death threat' circus. In what way are we any different from the clerics who issued a fatwa against Rushdie for Satanic Verses? How on earth can we adopt a 'holier than thou' attitude and preach about how intolerant those clerics were, that they could tolerate not even a word
against their religion! and if this is indeed our stance, why call ourselves sham secular with freedom of expression? No one forces us to be a free-for-all society like the Americans, who take their freedom very seriously! Let us agree that we have a thing against blasphemy! Nothing wrong at all!
And lastly, what a supreme level of hypocrisy we show, by feting the individual after he passes away! Extolling his virtues, forgiving his faults, reminiscing over the Maqbool Fida he was to various people and so on! News channels speak of nothing else all day. Newspapers publish tomes and tomes of MF times! The sheer blatancy of it all is appalling to say the least! Publicity, eyeball space, TRPs at all costs. Doesn't seem all too blatant, given the controversy-courting individual, who is the subject of the media's present fancy!
To be honest, I didn't really know about the whole controversy. I did know that MFH was involved in a 'nude painting' row that involved Hindu goddesses, but I didn't know about the quasi fatwa issued against him by Hindu factions, and I definitely did not know that these Hindu factions were epitomized by the 'holier than thou' entity who runs Mumbai as his fiefdom, who has taken the responsibility of safeguarding 'Indian culture and moral values' even if means of safeguarding involved vandalism and mindless rioting and disruption of law and order!
My thought and hence the purpose of this post was manifold! One, nudity in art is something we've known since caveman times. That painters, sculptors and photographers have a thing for the nude human form is a known fact. To the extent that I read somewhere that artistes make a distinction between 'nude' which is natural and free-flowing artistic, and 'naked' which is supposedly suggestive art, although both are to be considered aesthetic! Why they gloss over nudity, is something I can never understand. They say they are catering to a greater human consciousness, although I feel they're just pandering to a larger human population! But then again, I accept that I am not an authority on art, not even a novice! But we've all seen 'David' and studied about renaissance art in history books. So MFH really did not manage to do something pathbreaking like his predecessor Van Gogh who pioneered the use of the color yellow! So why did we create such a ruckus in the first place?
Second, why did MFH need to rile Hindu sentiments? Everyone knows that people in India take their Gods and Goddesses very very seriously. Our Goddesses are not akin to Greek Goddesses, who have forever been depicted in a certain way. So why not respect that part of what is intrinsically Indian and not 'firangify' everything! So if not for free publicity, what else could have been the motivation for such depiction? Why not call her Svetlana and the Veena? Making the picture just any picture, not necessarily tied to any religious sentiment! Ah! But that wouldn't have gathered so much publicity, including tomes being printed and published post his demise!
Third, why did we fly off the handle in 1996 about a picture that was actually painted in 1970! If not for blatant hankering for eyeball space by the media, who published the picture in the first place, and then again by political powers who suddenly found themselves turned into toothless tigers with no meat to chew on, what else could explain such unnecessary, irrelevant controversy creation? And then the whole 'death threat' circus. In what way are we any different from the clerics who issued a fatwa against Rushdie for Satanic Verses? How on earth can we adopt a 'holier than thou' attitude and preach about how intolerant those clerics were, that they could tolerate not even a word
against their religion! and if this is indeed our stance, why call ourselves sham secular with freedom of expression? No one forces us to be a free-for-all society like the Americans, who take their freedom very seriously! Let us agree that we have a thing against blasphemy! Nothing wrong at all!
And lastly, what a supreme level of hypocrisy we show, by feting the individual after he passes away! Extolling his virtues, forgiving his faults, reminiscing over the Maqbool Fida he was to various people and so on! News channels speak of nothing else all day. Newspapers publish tomes and tomes of MF times! The sheer blatancy of it all is appalling to say the least! Publicity, eyeball space, TRPs at all costs. Doesn't seem all too blatant, given the controversy-courting individual, who is the subject of the media's present fancy!
Monday, May 02, 2011
The world Bin Laden (The world without Laden)
Osama Bin Laden is dead. And it's been written about and spoken about, complete with an unwitting tweet account giving a bit-by-bit update to fake pictures up on the internet. The whole operation, looked like the 'capture-and-kill' operation in the movie 'Face/Off', with the high security house being ambushed and the main bad guy being asked to leave the world by a bullet in his head. And with this event, on May 1, 2011, Osama Bin Laden, the man who lent a face to terror, for all Americans and the world population to see and hate, left, hoping to get to the place he has been promising every gullible, impressionable, poor mind, that agreed or was coerced into becoming his foot soldier. Now whether he got there or not, is something only he can tell, and God willing, he doesn't come back to tell us of his escapades!
The bigger point though, is that this means the end of nothing actually. The man was supposedly frail, reportedly needing dialysis to keep him alive, albeit with a razor sharp brain, nonetheless. Agreed, this heir to billions founded Al-Qaeda as a retaliation to US setting up defense bases in Saudi Arabia to assist Kuwait against Iraq, and ever since he has been the one man who took it upon himself to cleanse the world of all things not Islam, a diktat that perhaps would make Prophet Muhammad's blood boil! The issue is that this man has managed to build ranks and ranks of lunatic foot soldiers, capable of inflicting horror on millions on their own, without the need of a larger lunatic! The funding might still continue, since over at least 10 years, OBL has managed to incite thousands of millions into the 'Jihadi cause'. Rumor has it that he was a very strong orator with a strong tongue to guile many an impressionable mind. What happens to that network? Those fund routes? All those millions leading Al-Qaeda offshoots, with a framed picture of OBL hanging on their cave walls?
Secondly, will anything be done about Pakistan being a terror haven? That nation is in a state of utter chaos, such that their President could have done nothing, had OBL been plotting his next move, right in his own backyard! Although in reality, that did happen, since OBL was captured barely a 100 kms from Islamabad and more glaringly a mere 800 meters from a large Army training camp! Army - ISI - Taliban - Al Qaeda, anyone? The relationship is too blatant to dismiss as mere coincidence.
This may be a moral victory. Placards of '9/11 victims may RIP' flashed through TV screens all of yesterday. A small voice in me asked, "what about the victims of 26/11 in India?" OBL was elusive, living in caves in South Waziristan, maybe, Pakistan, Afghanistan for a while and so on. The capture operation went on for a long time, and the forces were diligent in their quest. Qasab, the man who inhumanly killed scores of people at CST station is alive on Indian tax payer's money in a prison in Mumbai. Wouldn't the blood of victims' families boil each time they cross the prison road that houses that monster? What about the souls of these victims? What about the souls of the victims of the 1993 blasts in Mumbai? We have had a face to terror long before OBL even broke into the terror fraternity! So, why do we lack the will and wherewithal that the US possesses? Is our PM's mandate any different from the mandate of the US President in issues of terror, given that both are democratically elected?
It is indeed high time our own people were taken less lightly and their lives and souls given their due. Even the body of someone like Osama Bin Laden is given a burial, albeit at sea, in adherence to Muslim convention of disposing of mortal remains within 24 hours. If only our elected leaders felt for those who elected them and were serious about bringing them justice!
The bigger point though, is that this means the end of nothing actually. The man was supposedly frail, reportedly needing dialysis to keep him alive, albeit with a razor sharp brain, nonetheless. Agreed, this heir to billions founded Al-Qaeda as a retaliation to US setting up defense bases in Saudi Arabia to assist Kuwait against Iraq, and ever since he has been the one man who took it upon himself to cleanse the world of all things not Islam, a diktat that perhaps would make Prophet Muhammad's blood boil! The issue is that this man has managed to build ranks and ranks of lunatic foot soldiers, capable of inflicting horror on millions on their own, without the need of a larger lunatic! The funding might still continue, since over at least 10 years, OBL has managed to incite thousands of millions into the 'Jihadi cause'. Rumor has it that he was a very strong orator with a strong tongue to guile many an impressionable mind. What happens to that network? Those fund routes? All those millions leading Al-Qaeda offshoots, with a framed picture of OBL hanging on their cave walls?
Secondly, will anything be done about Pakistan being a terror haven? That nation is in a state of utter chaos, such that their President could have done nothing, had OBL been plotting his next move, right in his own backyard! Although in reality, that did happen, since OBL was captured barely a 100 kms from Islamabad and more glaringly a mere 800 meters from a large Army training camp! Army - ISI - Taliban - Al Qaeda, anyone? The relationship is too blatant to dismiss as mere coincidence.
This may be a moral victory. Placards of '9/11 victims may RIP' flashed through TV screens all of yesterday. A small voice in me asked, "what about the victims of 26/11 in India?" OBL was elusive, living in caves in South Waziristan, maybe, Pakistan, Afghanistan for a while and so on. The capture operation went on for a long time, and the forces were diligent in their quest. Qasab, the man who inhumanly killed scores of people at CST station is alive on Indian tax payer's money in a prison in Mumbai. Wouldn't the blood of victims' families boil each time they cross the prison road that houses that monster? What about the souls of these victims? What about the souls of the victims of the 1993 blasts in Mumbai? We have had a face to terror long before OBL even broke into the terror fraternity! So, why do we lack the will and wherewithal that the US possesses? Is our PM's mandate any different from the mandate of the US President in issues of terror, given that both are democratically elected?
It is indeed high time our own people were taken less lightly and their lives and souls given their due. Even the body of someone like Osama Bin Laden is given a burial, albeit at sea, in adherence to Muslim convention of disposing of mortal remains within 24 hours. If only our elected leaders felt for those who elected them and were serious about bringing them justice!
Friday, April 08, 2011
I support the fight for a corruption-free India.... do you?
The past few weeks have seen upheavals follow each other. First came the barrage of scams and scamsters in the Indian scene, and while India was busy getting disillusioned with almost everything from politics to sport to industry, a 26 year old immolated himself in Tunisia, setting off a snowballing domino revolution of sorts. The revolution spread from square to square toppling Governments, creating unrest across the middle east. Last checked, Tunisia and Egypt had toppled leaders, Libyan Gaddafi was at his rambling best and now Syria, Bahrain and Yemen were also joining the revolt bandwagon. Not wanting to feel left out, our own country too is debating, wondering, and getting charged up about an all-out war on corruption!
I, personally am a huge fan of people movements, akin to Munshi Premchand stories where the protagonist, who all along having been ill-treated by the 'mean Britisher' finally turns around and hits his 'master' with a stick! Gandhiji's Satyagraha which formed the basis of winning India independence from British rule is the starting point. More recently, Justice for Jessica was a classic case where miscarriage of justice was brought out to the open and people fought for the blatantly smirking Manu Sharma to be booked for cold blooded murder. So, non-violent populist protest movements are not new to India. In Tunisia, ages of despotic rule despite simmering resentment, perhaps reached a tipping point and the youth's self-immolation was the trigger the already incensed nation needed to break free. And Tunisia, perhaps was that precedent, Egypt needed to set her revolutionary wheels in motion. Yes, the current Middle Eastern revolutionary spree is nothing short of a fairy tale - one small event sets off a 'Facebook' revolution of sorts and manages to topple regime after regime. But the issue is, not all fairy tales have predictable endings! Like say, in Egypt, people now are suffering from revolutionary fatigue, the army that took over comes across as an equal, if not a bigger devil in terms of human rights violations, the economy is in a shambles, tourism is dead, and the void looks alarming, to say the least.
Why am I bringing this up here? Well, Anna Hazare's current movement is my trigger for this thought. The slew of scams that India has seen does make me feel rather ashamed to say that I belong to this country as it stands today. I've almost forgotten the look of the newspaper without a scamster headline screaming at my face. Winning the ICC World Cup perhaps helped salvage some pride, though the up coming Indian Premier League (IPL) brings back memories of blatant frauds and scams of less than a year ago. The way scamsters and Indian politicians work hand in glove is disgusting, to say the least. I know for a fact that a greater part of the Indian youth has lost faith in Indian politicians. No doubt, democracy is lovely, the freedom to choose who governs me is excellent in concept. But, given the kind of people I see ruling over me, I feel that I'd be happier being disenfranchised! It is election time in Tamil Nadu, and laptops, TV sets, gold, clothes, money are being promised to all and sundry. Protesters are being harassed, thrashed even and the brazenness of it all makes one's blood boil!
Having an independent entity oversee the moral uprightness of people who govern us, looks like a plan that can deliver us from such disgrace as what faces us in India, today. The fact that the Lokayuktas would comprise upright, respected members of civil society is a shot in the arm. The fact that they would have rights to press charges and prosecute any wrongdoer who might be in power seems most necessary. The fact that those in power cannot protect their own, hopes to ensure no more Jessica Lal cases, or instances of Marie Antoinette, steeped in arrogant power! It is a new model, where we want a stand alone entity apart from democratically elected leaders, put in place by us, to keep a check on those who govern us. The old, existing model has clearly failed, as there was the office of the Central Vigilance Commissioner, appointed by Parliament to check corruption, which, as it turns out, was toppled as the CVC himself was kicked out for being corrupt in a palm oil scam!
So, why not try the new model? Maybe those who govern us, need a higher power that governs them, because clearly, depending on a conscience and God is a non-existent concept vis-a-vis Indian politicians. No doubt, this is not a panacea. In my humble opinion, I would perhaps be happier saying I am an Indian if such a body did come into place, and did manage to keep a tab on the corrupt corridors of power in India. This revolution is not a be-all and end-all. But it is not a trigger happy FB revolution, either. If not for anything, I, like scores of Indian youngsters, want to give this concept a fair chance. So, my bit for this movement starts with 'Here' is what you need to know about the current Anna Hazare movement for enacting the Lokpal bill.
I, personally am a huge fan of people movements, akin to Munshi Premchand stories where the protagonist, who all along having been ill-treated by the 'mean Britisher' finally turns around and hits his 'master' with a stick! Gandhiji's Satyagraha which formed the basis of winning India independence from British rule is the starting point. More recently, Justice for Jessica was a classic case where miscarriage of justice was brought out to the open and people fought for the blatantly smirking Manu Sharma to be booked for cold blooded murder. So, non-violent populist protest movements are not new to India. In Tunisia, ages of despotic rule despite simmering resentment, perhaps reached a tipping point and the youth's self-immolation was the trigger the already incensed nation needed to break free. And Tunisia, perhaps was that precedent, Egypt needed to set her revolutionary wheels in motion. Yes, the current Middle Eastern revolutionary spree is nothing short of a fairy tale - one small event sets off a 'Facebook' revolution of sorts and manages to topple regime after regime. But the issue is, not all fairy tales have predictable endings! Like say, in Egypt, people now are suffering from revolutionary fatigue, the army that took over comes across as an equal, if not a bigger devil in terms of human rights violations, the economy is in a shambles, tourism is dead, and the void looks alarming, to say the least.
Why am I bringing this up here? Well, Anna Hazare's current movement is my trigger for this thought. The slew of scams that India has seen does make me feel rather ashamed to say that I belong to this country as it stands today. I've almost forgotten the look of the newspaper without a scamster headline screaming at my face. Winning the ICC World Cup perhaps helped salvage some pride, though the up coming Indian Premier League (IPL) brings back memories of blatant frauds and scams of less than a year ago. The way scamsters and Indian politicians work hand in glove is disgusting, to say the least. I know for a fact that a greater part of the Indian youth has lost faith in Indian politicians. No doubt, democracy is lovely, the freedom to choose who governs me is excellent in concept. But, given the kind of people I see ruling over me, I feel that I'd be happier being disenfranchised! It is election time in Tamil Nadu, and laptops, TV sets, gold, clothes, money are being promised to all and sundry. Protesters are being harassed, thrashed even and the brazenness of it all makes one's blood boil!
Having an independent entity oversee the moral uprightness of people who govern us, looks like a plan that can deliver us from such disgrace as what faces us in India, today. The fact that the Lokayuktas would comprise upright, respected members of civil society is a shot in the arm. The fact that they would have rights to press charges and prosecute any wrongdoer who might be in power seems most necessary. The fact that those in power cannot protect their own, hopes to ensure no more Jessica Lal cases, or instances of Marie Antoinette, steeped in arrogant power! It is a new model, where we want a stand alone entity apart from democratically elected leaders, put in place by us, to keep a check on those who govern us. The old, existing model has clearly failed, as there was the office of the Central Vigilance Commissioner, appointed by Parliament to check corruption, which, as it turns out, was toppled as the CVC himself was kicked out for being corrupt in a palm oil scam!
So, why not try the new model? Maybe those who govern us, need a higher power that governs them, because clearly, depending on a conscience and God is a non-existent concept vis-a-vis Indian politicians. No doubt, this is not a panacea. In my humble opinion, I would perhaps be happier saying I am an Indian if such a body did come into place, and did manage to keep a tab on the corrupt corridors of power in India. This revolution is not a be-all and end-all. But it is not a trigger happy FB revolution, either. If not for anything, I, like scores of Indian youngsters, want to give this concept a fair chance. So, my bit for this movement starts with 'Here' is what you need to know about the current Anna Hazare movement for enacting the Lokpal bill.
Wednesday, March 02, 2011
Per Nostro Circolo : The story of the inner circle
Long years ago, it was the Bastille. Tired of the despotic, grossly uninterested nature of the French regime, with Marie Antoinette famously telling the languishing poor to eat cake if they could not get bread, the people revolted. They took charge of the country, and brought the evil king and queen to the guillotine. History most certainly repeats itself and tired of police corruption and high handedness in a remote Tunisian village a 26 yr old immolated himself and that brought the whole Tunisian regime down. Cascading effects are a reality too. Others took the cue, with festering dissatisfaction finding an able bolster in the power of precedent, and Egypt and now Libya have followed course. Watching the trend is nothing short of fascinating.
This book I am reading just gets the plight of these nations blatantly to the fore. Take the case of Iran. Safavid rule was prosperous and all inclusive when it began, with money split between the Government and the Waqfs. As time progressed, the leaders got corrupt and there was a mass siphoning of country funds into personal coffers, which was when the Shahs stepped in. Reza Shah began by appropriating waqf lands under the guise of reform and save for a few developmental projects like the Trans-Iranian rail line, there was hardly anything to show. The elite rich class never complained though, for they were in the inner circle. They dined with the Shah when it was time to split the spoils. Sensing the opportunity, the Grand Ayatollah Khomeini stepped in, ferreting already incensed tempers of the common man, while showing them a utopian state, himself claiming to be divinely guided . Unfortunately, he brought along his own inner circle, which now was another class of people, the bazaris or trading class and others who heretofore had been excluded. And this time, they didn't complain in the face of the blatant corruption and misuse of power in the name of religion. The inner circle just changed from one to another!
Mubarak was an able leader till he was convenient for Western politics, allowing the set up of bases, buying defense supplies, opening up the population as an able marketplace. But once the people of Egypt had had enough of his despotic rule, they revolted, asking for democracy. And the West suddenly swung to support the wish of the people, for they are after all the self proclaimed caretakers of democracy (just as Saudi Arabia is the caretaker of Islam just because it houses Mecca). Likewise Libya. Libyan crude is sweet crude, unlike the sour crude churned out by Saudi Arabia. The next best source of such crude is civil strife-torn Nigeria. So Gaddafi, was the man of the hour for so very many years and his unjust, cruel rule was condoned, 'human rights, what human rights?' was the tone adopted. And now, when his people have started revolting, the caretakers again have stepped in, quick to impose sanctions and further destroy another crumbling nation. Suddenly the despots have fallen out of the inner circle.
The stories are plenty. Every war-torn middle-eastern nation has had a history of exploitation at the hands of a western power. Whether it is the Sykes-Picot agreement that enlisted Arab support in WW I against the Ottoman empire in return for the right to govern themselves via Greater Syria, (an agreement wherein the Arabs were cheated through conflicting agreements made that excluded them entirely) or the very creation of Iraq, throwing in 2 huge Shia counties carved out of Iran into Sunni Iraq to ensure a life-long war between Shias and Sunnis, the exploitations are several. The inner circle is at play again, an inner circle of world powers dominating over the weaker squabbling entities.
Even in recent times, the inner circles rule. Be it large bank CEOs with a direct line to the political powers who laugh their way to the bank with their large bonuses despite the crumbling economy or whether the shining Indian telecom story shows signs of rust thanks to a million scams, the perpetrators somehow, always get to go free just because they are part of the inner circle. Sufficient money has changed hands, as a result of which a minister argues away that what is regarded as a scam is in fact very very legitimate! Sons of politicians get to walk free after committing a murder in cold blood because they are born in the inner circle and it takes a popular revolution to bring him to book.
At the end of the day, it turns out that Robert Ludlum's Matarese seems to be the only truth. Per Nostro Circolo (For our circle) they muttered and that is the way life is today!
This book I am reading just gets the plight of these nations blatantly to the fore. Take the case of Iran. Safavid rule was prosperous and all inclusive when it began, with money split between the Government and the Waqfs. As time progressed, the leaders got corrupt and there was a mass siphoning of country funds into personal coffers, which was when the Shahs stepped in. Reza Shah began by appropriating waqf lands under the guise of reform and save for a few developmental projects like the Trans-Iranian rail line, there was hardly anything to show. The elite rich class never complained though, for they were in the inner circle. They dined with the Shah when it was time to split the spoils. Sensing the opportunity, the Grand Ayatollah Khomeini stepped in, ferreting already incensed tempers of the common man, while showing them a utopian state, himself claiming to be divinely guided . Unfortunately, he brought along his own inner circle, which now was another class of people, the bazaris or trading class and others who heretofore had been excluded. And this time, they didn't complain in the face of the blatant corruption and misuse of power in the name of religion. The inner circle just changed from one to another!
Mubarak was an able leader till he was convenient for Western politics, allowing the set up of bases, buying defense supplies, opening up the population as an able marketplace. But once the people of Egypt had had enough of his despotic rule, they revolted, asking for democracy. And the West suddenly swung to support the wish of the people, for they are after all the self proclaimed caretakers of democracy (just as Saudi Arabia is the caretaker of Islam just because it houses Mecca). Likewise Libya. Libyan crude is sweet crude, unlike the sour crude churned out by Saudi Arabia. The next best source of such crude is civil strife-torn Nigeria. So Gaddafi, was the man of the hour for so very many years and his unjust, cruel rule was condoned, 'human rights, what human rights?' was the tone adopted. And now, when his people have started revolting, the caretakers again have stepped in, quick to impose sanctions and further destroy another crumbling nation. Suddenly the despots have fallen out of the inner circle.
The stories are plenty. Every war-torn middle-eastern nation has had a history of exploitation at the hands of a western power. Whether it is the Sykes-Picot agreement that enlisted Arab support in WW I against the Ottoman empire in return for the right to govern themselves via Greater Syria, (an agreement wherein the Arabs were cheated through conflicting agreements made that excluded them entirely) or the very creation of Iraq, throwing in 2 huge Shia counties carved out of Iran into Sunni Iraq to ensure a life-long war between Shias and Sunnis, the exploitations are several. The inner circle is at play again, an inner circle of world powers dominating over the weaker squabbling entities.
Even in recent times, the inner circles rule. Be it large bank CEOs with a direct line to the political powers who laugh their way to the bank with their large bonuses despite the crumbling economy or whether the shining Indian telecom story shows signs of rust thanks to a million scams, the perpetrators somehow, always get to go free just because they are part of the inner circle. Sufficient money has changed hands, as a result of which a minister argues away that what is regarded as a scam is in fact very very legitimate! Sons of politicians get to walk free after committing a murder in cold blood because they are born in the inner circle and it takes a popular revolution to bring him to book.
At the end of the day, it turns out that Robert Ludlum's Matarese seems to be the only truth. Per Nostro Circolo (For our circle) they muttered and that is the way life is today!
Friday, February 25, 2011
The royal meet-jack!!!
Hijacks and carjacks. What do you call a meeting where the agenda gets royally pulled offtrack? A meet-jack???? Hardly have I found a phenomenon more annoying than one where the agenda of a meeting you've called gets hijacked!
So, here is some background....
A certain task on hand needs a small group of not more than 5 people with variegated pasts to get together and dish out ideas on a common underlying topic. No, I am not talking about an AA meeting or a psychological roller coaster ride, but rather just an issue where the people in question have an opinion that counts more than mine (which is akin to a cow's opinion, mind you), owing largely to their rather intense experience in the thick of things. As someone I know would say, collectively, we'd have close to 100 years of work experience in that room and with the express intention of tapping into that immense treasure trove of gyaan, I guess I decided to get em all together for a 'brainstorming' session.
And what ensued just made me want to storm out of that place, with my brains screaming out in agony! One key takeaway though was that I managed to recognize and make a note of those signs that signal the royal meet-jack. At the end of the exercise though, I was surprised at the close alignment of what happened with key elements of an HBR article on conversations I'd recently read!
What happened : What happens when you get people steeped in loads of gyaan together? Each wants to peddle his gyaan as the next best thing since sliced bread! While assiduously pointing out that every other person's slice has layers and layers of mold on it. This vociferous defence and offence routine looks straight out of a quintessential war movie thanks to our apparent bellicose demeanor. Ok, so combative perhaps accounts for the offence, how exactly does it impact the defence, you ask? Well,defence because once the offence starts, the others begin to build strategies of defence. This played out in front of my eyes,with people speaking continuously, with one gentleman speaking and staring straight ahead as though he had blinkers on his eyes and maybe he believed that not making eye contact with others would also mean that he could blank out people in the room! So the combat, and the thwart story was part 1.
The result: The issue on hand was rather complex, with us having to discuss some key aspects of future strategy. But owing to the clash of the egos that was in progress the issue ended up looking like a second grade school debate contest! Every statement was made trying to second guess the other person's ulterior motive, half believeing that everyone out there was out to rule the world and decapitate anyone who dissented! No one wanted to stop and think that at the end of the day the discussion was happening in an attempt to achive a bigger goal. Somewhere the goal was lost in translation And in the ensuing mayhem, I was stuck with my notepad, bullet points under the heading 'agenda' and not a single strikethrough, blankly looking at the crossfire of words and thoughts, clearly realizing that this is anything but a discussion or a brainstorming session.
Salvage? : A feeble attempt at trying to get everyone back on track resulted in more noise, given that no one typically pays any attention to the words of someone a fraction of their age! Once the wars subsided, and everyone perhaps began to realize that warring words expended a lot of energy (the fact that lunch time was drawing near helped the calming of energies), everyone seemed to calm down, and suddenly before one could realize it, everyone had almost shut off! All that we managed to achieve was an abrupt reaffirming of what we already knew and we ended up convincing ourselves that a lot of key insights had indeed been gathered. Although for me, I realized that in front of my very eyes, I had just lost 3 valuable hours of my life!
So, here is some background....
A certain task on hand needs a small group of not more than 5 people with variegated pasts to get together and dish out ideas on a common underlying topic. No, I am not talking about an AA meeting or a psychological roller coaster ride, but rather just an issue where the people in question have an opinion that counts more than mine (which is akin to a cow's opinion, mind you), owing largely to their rather intense experience in the thick of things. As someone I know would say, collectively, we'd have close to 100 years of work experience in that room and with the express intention of tapping into that immense treasure trove of gyaan, I guess I decided to get em all together for a 'brainstorming' session.
And what ensued just made me want to storm out of that place, with my brains screaming out in agony! One key takeaway though was that I managed to recognize and make a note of those signs that signal the royal meet-jack. At the end of the exercise though, I was surprised at the close alignment of what happened with key elements of an HBR article on conversations I'd recently read!
What happened : What happens when you get people steeped in loads of gyaan together? Each wants to peddle his gyaan as the next best thing since sliced bread! While assiduously pointing out that every other person's slice has layers and layers of mold on it. This vociferous defence and offence routine looks straight out of a quintessential war movie thanks to our apparent bellicose demeanor. Ok, so combative perhaps accounts for the offence, how exactly does it impact the defence, you ask? Well,defence because once the offence starts, the others begin to build strategies of defence. This played out in front of my eyes,with people speaking continuously, with one gentleman speaking and staring straight ahead as though he had blinkers on his eyes and maybe he believed that not making eye contact with others would also mean that he could blank out people in the room! So the combat, and the thwart story was part 1.
The result: The issue on hand was rather complex, with us having to discuss some key aspects of future strategy. But owing to the clash of the egos that was in progress the issue ended up looking like a second grade school debate contest! Every statement was made trying to second guess the other person's ulterior motive, half believeing that everyone out there was out to rule the world and decapitate anyone who dissented! No one wanted to stop and think that at the end of the day the discussion was happening in an attempt to achive a bigger goal. Somewhere the goal was lost in translation And in the ensuing mayhem, I was stuck with my notepad, bullet points under the heading 'agenda' and not a single strikethrough, blankly looking at the crossfire of words and thoughts, clearly realizing that this is anything but a discussion or a brainstorming session.
Salvage? : A feeble attempt at trying to get everyone back on track resulted in more noise, given that no one typically pays any attention to the words of someone a fraction of their age! Once the wars subsided, and everyone perhaps began to realize that warring words expended a lot of energy (the fact that lunch time was drawing near helped the calming of energies), everyone seemed to calm down, and suddenly before one could realize it, everyone had almost shut off! All that we managed to achieve was an abrupt reaffirming of what we already knew and we ended up convincing ourselves that a lot of key insights had indeed been gathered. Although for me, I realized that in front of my very eyes, I had just lost 3 valuable hours of my life!
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
I like leeaving onnnnn a JET plane!
Take any usual service experience in modern India - getting a cell phone connection, traveling, a flight, a hair cut, anything. What are your typical reactions at the end of the service? I have always either ended up being angry or just plain indifferent! There are very few instances in modern day India, where you end up being genuinely happy after going through a 'service experience'. That, despite the fact that we are a service-driven economy, with everyone trying to differentiate themselves from the herd via their 'service-model'. So, when a happy ending comes along, you're tempted to talk about it! At least I am, or well I don't really need a reason to talk about anything anyway. But that is beside the point.
So, this has to do with a certain airline. And I know that someone upon reading this would be very happy, albeit for a completely different reason. That Jet Airways is very sweet to its flyers is known. But the fact that they've been sweet to me, despite my being a chronic offender, landing really late at the check-in counter, is additionally sweet. So, last year, I had the dubious honor of running to the boarding gates at an airport, flanked by 2 uniformed ground personnel of Jet Airways. I was appalled at my gross lack of exercise, when I noticed that those perfectly well groomed, prim and propah ladies on pointy high heels managed to go from the main airport terminal, down the escalator, into a connector train that sped on for a few minutes before depositing us in another building, and from thereon, up another escalator and a few more hundred meters really swiftly, without breaking into a sweat, while I could feel my ankle scream out in agony in just half that time despite my sneakers! And why was I involved in such an intense running exercise? Because a friend and I managed to check in our luggage after which we sat with a pizza and iced teas lamenting our fates oblivious to the fact that the departure terminal for our flight was in another building, and not just down a flight of stairs! But yet, despite not showing up in spite of the umpteenth last and final call, not once were we given a dirty look, and in fact after we boarded, we were told that there were empty seats at the back, where we could comfortably offload our jackets and cabin baggage and perhaps even put our feet up and sit comfortably! OK maybe not the feet up part, but the rest, yeah!
And now, this one was grander. My domestic flight yesterday was to leave at 10 past 8 and I landed at the check in counter at 10 minutes to 8. With a ton of luggage. The lady at the check in counter was quite firm in saying I couldn't get in, with my luggage and I pleaded, very sweetly. I was sincerely stuck in a terrible traffic snarl and I literally ran into the airport. And what made Jet even sweeter this time, was the personnel's almost immediate call to the baggage handling people to hold off the shut and lock down procedure of their baggage hold, and the extremely swift handling of my luggage and almost immediate transfer to the hold. Yes, I ran again, this time in slippers, and landed at the boarding gate at 8 PM sharp, just as that employee was about to write down my name to sound out the last and final call to Ms. Sindhu Subramaniam. In an almost Mission Impossible move, I jumped into the plane, and I thought I might become Agent Hunt, when I saw at least 4 more people behind me. I hurriedly sat down, and the flight, left exactly at 10 past 8, perfectly on schedule.
They say contrast is essential to appreciate one from the other. I have had the dubious honor (wonder how many dubious honors I've had) of being disallowed a check-in on a 5.30 AM flight because I landed at the check-in counter at 5:03 AM. No pleading, reasoning, begging, helped my case. The lady at that spicy airline refused to listen to me, or realize that a police security hold-up just at the mouth of the driveway to the airport delayed me by exactly 3 minutes! I had no luggage, I just needed to walk through. But I was told to shoo, and buy myself a new ticket. What good came out of this? I made me a new friend, another companion in my moment of penury, who had been similarly prevented from boarding!
So, of all my experiences, where I've had my luggage lost, broken, where I've been disallowed boarding on a spicy airline, or shown a dirty, grim expression, with no words when I asked for water on a silky airline, yesterday's gesture sure made me a believer and a huge fan..... till a gory experience do us apart!
So, this has to do with a certain airline. And I know that someone upon reading this would be very happy, albeit for a completely different reason. That Jet Airways is very sweet to its flyers is known. But the fact that they've been sweet to me, despite my being a chronic offender, landing really late at the check-in counter, is additionally sweet. So, last year, I had the dubious honor of running to the boarding gates at an airport, flanked by 2 uniformed ground personnel of Jet Airways. I was appalled at my gross lack of exercise, when I noticed that those perfectly well groomed, prim and propah ladies on pointy high heels managed to go from the main airport terminal, down the escalator, into a connector train that sped on for a few minutes before depositing us in another building, and from thereon, up another escalator and a few more hundred meters really swiftly, without breaking into a sweat, while I could feel my ankle scream out in agony in just half that time despite my sneakers! And why was I involved in such an intense running exercise? Because a friend and I managed to check in our luggage after which we sat with a pizza and iced teas lamenting our fates oblivious to the fact that the departure terminal for our flight was in another building, and not just down a flight of stairs! But yet, despite not showing up in spite of the umpteenth last and final call, not once were we given a dirty look, and in fact after we boarded, we were told that there were empty seats at the back, where we could comfortably offload our jackets and cabin baggage and perhaps even put our feet up and sit comfortably! OK maybe not the feet up part, but the rest, yeah!
And now, this one was grander. My domestic flight yesterday was to leave at 10 past 8 and I landed at the check in counter at 10 minutes to 8. With a ton of luggage. The lady at the check in counter was quite firm in saying I couldn't get in, with my luggage and I pleaded, very sweetly. I was sincerely stuck in a terrible traffic snarl and I literally ran into the airport. And what made Jet even sweeter this time, was the personnel's almost immediate call to the baggage handling people to hold off the shut and lock down procedure of their baggage hold, and the extremely swift handling of my luggage and almost immediate transfer to the hold. Yes, I ran again, this time in slippers, and landed at the boarding gate at 8 PM sharp, just as that employee was about to write down my name to sound out the last and final call to Ms. Sindhu Subramaniam. In an almost Mission Impossible move, I jumped into the plane, and I thought I might become Agent Hunt, when I saw at least 4 more people behind me. I hurriedly sat down, and the flight, left exactly at 10 past 8, perfectly on schedule.
They say contrast is essential to appreciate one from the other. I have had the dubious honor (wonder how many dubious honors I've had) of being disallowed a check-in on a 5.30 AM flight because I landed at the check-in counter at 5:03 AM. No pleading, reasoning, begging, helped my case. The lady at that spicy airline refused to listen to me, or realize that a police security hold-up just at the mouth of the driveway to the airport delayed me by exactly 3 minutes! I had no luggage, I just needed to walk through. But I was told to shoo, and buy myself a new ticket. What good came out of this? I made me a new friend, another companion in my moment of penury, who had been similarly prevented from boarding!
So, of all my experiences, where I've had my luggage lost, broken, where I've been disallowed boarding on a spicy airline, or shown a dirty, grim expression, with no words when I asked for water on a silky airline, yesterday's gesture sure made me a believer and a huge fan..... till a gory experience do us apart!
Friday, February 11, 2011
Swindler's list
It's crazy to observe our extreme sense of adjustment to everything that happens around us in India. Being a Bambaiyya, I have grown up in an atmosphere of adjustment to everything - from adjusting to accommodate a fourth passenger on a train seat that can fit just 3 people, to adjusting to traffic snarls caused by snail-paced infrastructure development. One spends a good deal of time and effort fighting for the basics - electricity, water, transport, a house-maid, and almost everything else! And at the end of the exercise, you end up becoming a pro at adjustment. But extrapolating this sense of adjustment to a greater political and economic arena and expecting the average Indian to adjust to swindling behavior by a handful of crooks who choose to not just swindle the nation of a few crores and in some cases a few lac crores, but also to make the average taxpayer look absolutely foolish is perhaps stretching the 'thoda adjust please' concept a bit too far.
That's why, a new scam story hitting the papers each day is not just disgusting to me as an average Indian, but it's also extremely frustrating to know that while I and maybe half a billion other working people in my country are much too busy working, a handful of characterless and morally dead individuals choose to subvert the very meaning of the word law and turn every single public office into a viable money manufacturing machine! And each day, the stories get murkier. Long long ago, a supposed clean PM got embroiled in a scandal involving kickbacks on a defense deal. Then came a couple of huge stock market scams involving forgeries, and massive insider dealing. In the recent past, we've had scams in real estate, with benaami properties, nameless bank accounts, unverifiable customers swindling huge sums of money, nepotistic dealings by people in power - you name it, we have it and if we don't just wait for a bit!
And now, we have the massive 2G scam, wherein as a dirty, murky plot comes to the fore, one gets more and more disillusioned about the whole civil system as a whole! So we have the 2G spectrum airwaves to be used by telecom companies (demand side) sold the same by our government (supply). The Govt sells it dirt cheap to some unrecognizable players for peanuts. You think the Government has been cheated in the bargain, but as it turns out, it is just the taxpayer and the economy of the country that have been cheated. The spectrum sold by the govt for peanuts, finds buyers for over 10 times that price, amongst huge global players, begging the question why they were sold dirt cheap in the first place. And in this story, the main characters allegedly range from a ruffian Indian political party and all its cronies to one of the doyens of Indian industry, to countless babus in places of power.
And while the media has enough stories to fill reams and reams of paper, hog airwaves 24x7, one hopes that something would be done about the perpetrators of such dubious acts. Although, I do wonder, while staring in disgust at the blatant indecency of the whole mess, why must we believe that those, smart enough to conceptualize and pull off such a swindle, might just not be smart enough to buy their way out as well! After all, even a 0.01% of 1 lac 76000 crores can cover anyone's legal fees plus bribes for 7 generations!!!
That's why, a new scam story hitting the papers each day is not just disgusting to me as an average Indian, but it's also extremely frustrating to know that while I and maybe half a billion other working people in my country are much too busy working, a handful of characterless and morally dead individuals choose to subvert the very meaning of the word law and turn every single public office into a viable money manufacturing machine! And each day, the stories get murkier. Long long ago, a supposed clean PM got embroiled in a scandal involving kickbacks on a defense deal. Then came a couple of huge stock market scams involving forgeries, and massive insider dealing. In the recent past, we've had scams in real estate, with benaami properties, nameless bank accounts, unverifiable customers swindling huge sums of money, nepotistic dealings by people in power - you name it, we have it and if we don't just wait for a bit!
And now, we have the massive 2G scam, wherein as a dirty, murky plot comes to the fore, one gets more and more disillusioned about the whole civil system as a whole! So we have the 2G spectrum airwaves to be used by telecom companies (demand side) sold the same by our government (supply). The Govt sells it dirt cheap to some unrecognizable players for peanuts. You think the Government has been cheated in the bargain, but as it turns out, it is just the taxpayer and the economy of the country that have been cheated. The spectrum sold by the govt for peanuts, finds buyers for over 10 times that price, amongst huge global players, begging the question why they were sold dirt cheap in the first place. And in this story, the main characters allegedly range from a ruffian Indian political party and all its cronies to one of the doyens of Indian industry, to countless babus in places of power.
And while the media has enough stories to fill reams and reams of paper, hog airwaves 24x7, one hopes that something would be done about the perpetrators of such dubious acts. Although, I do wonder, while staring in disgust at the blatant indecency of the whole mess, why must we believe that those, smart enough to conceptualize and pull off such a swindle, might just not be smart enough to buy their way out as well! After all, even a 0.01% of 1 lac 76000 crores can cover anyone's legal fees plus bribes for 7 generations!!!
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
Petty - thy name is human.
It is the human mind that is frail and petty. In more ways than one. And the instance where this trait comes through in the most blatant fashion is in the realm of religion. A book I am reading these days has brought out several truths. Reading the book has not just informed me about the religion, but rather has gone on to show how words of God or words inspired by God have been distorted, misinterpreted and generally manipulated to suit human political and societal needs of the time.
For example, before the Hijrah, the calendar system for Muslims was grossly manipulated, given the fact that one could build a calendar based on the lunar cycle or the solar cycle. As a result, the leaders of the time would set the holy months of no fighting and violence, to coincide exactly with their political needs. Another example, is that the very basis of jihadi literature, arises from a terrible misinterpretation and ‘taking out of context’ of a certain verse in the Qur’an, again for human gain! The gist of the verse, which again is specific mainly to the nomadic tribal times of the first revelations of the Qur’an says that it allows a Muslim to retaliate, if need be violently to incursions by followers of other religions, who hurt them just because they are Muslim. This, in turn is being twisted to mean that all current acts of terror are retaliations for some acts against Muslims, somewhere, again conveniently directed to and associated with religion!
I was talking to a friend the other day, and the topic veered towards, Hinduism. I remarked how the history of Hinduism has been tolerant and peaceful in comparison to Islam and Christianity, both of which have had rather violent periods in history – be it the fights between Shias, Sunnis, and before that, the violent opposition of Prophet Muhammad and the Qur’anic revelations, or the Crusades in Christianity, or even the very Crucifixion of Christ! My friend then remarked that Hinduism also had its faults – and brought up the caste system, and how the scriptures mandated the 4 Varnas and the subsequent discrimination in society.
Yes, the scriptures – Vedas, do mention the 4 Varnas – Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya and Shudras as 4 classes based on type – or role of livelihood in society. They mention it in periphery, not talking about a mainstay as such. They say that a class is decided based on a person’s skill set, and not by birth! They also say that it is possible for one to be able to move from class to class based on his skill sets, again. There is a line in the Rg Veda that says, “I am a bard, my father is a physician and my mother’s job is to grind corn”. Malleability of castes, inter-caste families, and so on are all interpretations that emanate from this one line! Not the crooked way in which the caste system exists today – as a political weapon, an upgrade voucher to First Class for people who perhaps already have the ability to travel First Class, a terrible tool that undermines meritocracy in Indian society.
The instances are plenty! Religion was a means to unify people along one cause – to find a higher purpose, and to prevent fighting and strife amongst humanity, as a whole. One God communicated to people of various regions in the language and a manner that suited them best, all the while, keeping the gist of the message the same. But unfortunately, the real truth has been obscured somewhere over the years – making even God an object of abject manipulation!
For example, before the Hijrah, the calendar system for Muslims was grossly manipulated, given the fact that one could build a calendar based on the lunar cycle or the solar cycle. As a result, the leaders of the time would set the holy months of no fighting and violence, to coincide exactly with their political needs. Another example, is that the very basis of jihadi literature, arises from a terrible misinterpretation and ‘taking out of context’ of a certain verse in the Qur’an, again for human gain! The gist of the verse, which again is specific mainly to the nomadic tribal times of the first revelations of the Qur’an says that it allows a Muslim to retaliate, if need be violently to incursions by followers of other religions, who hurt them just because they are Muslim. This, in turn is being twisted to mean that all current acts of terror are retaliations for some acts against Muslims, somewhere, again conveniently directed to and associated with religion!
I was talking to a friend the other day, and the topic veered towards, Hinduism. I remarked how the history of Hinduism has been tolerant and peaceful in comparison to Islam and Christianity, both of which have had rather violent periods in history – be it the fights between Shias, Sunnis, and before that, the violent opposition of Prophet Muhammad and the Qur’anic revelations, or the Crusades in Christianity, or even the very Crucifixion of Christ! My friend then remarked that Hinduism also had its faults – and brought up the caste system, and how the scriptures mandated the 4 Varnas and the subsequent discrimination in society.
Yes, the scriptures – Vedas, do mention the 4 Varnas – Brahmin, Kshatriya, Vaishya and Shudras as 4 classes based on type – or role of livelihood in society. They mention it in periphery, not talking about a mainstay as such. They say that a class is decided based on a person’s skill set, and not by birth! They also say that it is possible for one to be able to move from class to class based on his skill sets, again. There is a line in the Rg Veda that says, “I am a bard, my father is a physician and my mother’s job is to grind corn”. Malleability of castes, inter-caste families, and so on are all interpretations that emanate from this one line! Not the crooked way in which the caste system exists today – as a political weapon, an upgrade voucher to First Class for people who perhaps already have the ability to travel First Class, a terrible tool that undermines meritocracy in Indian society.
The instances are plenty! Religion was a means to unify people along one cause – to find a higher purpose, and to prevent fighting and strife amongst humanity, as a whole. One God communicated to people of various regions in the language and a manner that suited them best, all the while, keeping the gist of the message the same. But unfortunately, the real truth has been obscured somewhere over the years – making even God an object of abject manipulation!
Thursday, December 30, 2010
2000 to 2010 : An awesome decade indeed!
A whole decade has come to pass, and this has by and far been a super eventful time indeed. (I follow the natural number system and not whole numbers and so I start my newdecade from 2011). Anyone can google up the events of the past decade, and wikipedia those events that interest them. But for me, the above line alone is indicative of the times between 2000 and 2010 that has just come to pass. And some things, that have lingered in my memory make an appearance here, unaided by Google!
2000 - was the year that defined the tech boom, as Y2K was a monster that needed immediate redressal. Around technology and all that jazz, came the dotcoms, faceless millionaires and everything techy, arcane and convoluted. while the world was kicked about moving from the 'nineteen hundreds' to the 'two-thousands', the economy grappled with a nascent crisis post the tech bust. Ironically, we're ending the decade fighting another crisis, only this one bigger, all-encompassing and certainly a lot more painful!
Then came 2001, and hardly anyone remembers it as the first year of the new millennium. It is remembered in notoriety owing to its association with the dreadful events of September 11. For someone living in India, or maybe in the Middle East, having seen the effects of terrorism first hand for years on end, the events perhaps felt like yet another day. But these attacks were perhaps a culmination of years of festering anti-American sentiment in the Middle East. The repercussions thereafter continue to haunt the world, with Iraq and Afghanistan becoming household topics! 'Democracy' came knocking on Afghanistan's door, and an apology of a government remained in power. But some things never really changed - Israel and Palestine continued their hate-hate relationship, with a rather intense fight breaking out in 2008.
As far as India went, in terms of politics and diplomacy, the unending suspicious ties with Pakistan continued, and after years and years of lobbying, we finally celebrated the de-hyphenation from India-Pak. Such ado over this event, why is all I ask, when a larger, more powerful neighbor hell-bent on taking away Arunachal Pradesh is a better entity to compare with in an attempt to improve oneself! Mumbai suffered more terror attacks, one at Gateway, one on Western Railway and the worst at CST, the Taj, Trident and Chabad house. And to add to it, Indian media went ballistic relaying all events on primetime TV!
Terror aside, the Indian economy shone. There was a fair bit of political stability, with one coalition keeping power for eight years. A person of non-Indian origin almost became the PM. While in the US Barack Obama came to power signaling a wave of the 'can do' spirit. Indian stock markets crossed 20,000, fell and toyed with the figure again despite the global recession.
China rose and is still rising. The Yuan, though is still pegged. 2008 saw a spectacular show by China with the summer Olympics announcing to the world that China had indeed arrived. India, in comparison hosted the Commonwealth Games amidst corruption of the highest, ugliest order. While on sport, I'll just say Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal - two pillars of tennis history and two pillars, who I hope will face off in the next decade too. Again while on sport, I'll just mention Michael Schumacher, who built his record-breaking, record-making career in this decade, thrilling a million fans like myself. No more on MSC, because I could put in volumes on his scarlet days. So, just an entity that defined my taste in sport over the past 10 years.
This decade also saw Google becoming synonymous with search, so much that I just 'google' up some data! And Apple, the company forgotten ever since the alleged GUI theft event reincarnated as the suave gadget guru of the decade! i-pod, i-phone and now i-pad, Jobs is just one inventive genius indeed! From landlines to smartphones, the hand-held device just became an inseparable part of the common man's life!
Climate change is a reality. Mumbai saw insane flooding in 2005. Australia is seeing it now. China sees such rains and floods every year, killing thousands at the minimum! Drought in the early part of a year, followed by floods, insanely hot summers, unseasonal rains, extremely cold and unforgiving winters - this decade has seen em all! 2 climate change conferences at exotic locations later, we are nowhere near a tangible solution. Yes, we have exquisite concepts like carbon trading, carbon credits and so on. But none of those are making winters less severe.
This decade also lost quite a bit. Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Bear Stearns were lost in their true spirit, taken over, given a makeover changing the face of the Global financial system in toto. Michael Jackson, perhaps, was one of the biggest losses for music fans of Gen Y. People may say several things, but the fact remains that when the sound of 'Heal the World', or 'Give in to me ring out', the young heart still gets thrilled.
A lot more happened. But a post longer than so much would be mighty boring to write. So more, and perhaps the right amount to do justice to this awesome decade, maybe a tad later....
2000 - was the year that defined the tech boom, as Y2K was a monster that needed immediate redressal. Around technology and all that jazz, came the dotcoms, faceless millionaires and everything techy, arcane and convoluted. while the world was kicked about moving from the 'nineteen hundreds' to the 'two-thousands', the economy grappled with a nascent crisis post the tech bust. Ironically, we're ending the decade fighting another crisis, only this one bigger, all-encompassing and certainly a lot more painful!
Then came 2001, and hardly anyone remembers it as the first year of the new millennium. It is remembered in notoriety owing to its association with the dreadful events of September 11. For someone living in India, or maybe in the Middle East, having seen the effects of terrorism first hand for years on end, the events perhaps felt like yet another day. But these attacks were perhaps a culmination of years of festering anti-American sentiment in the Middle East. The repercussions thereafter continue to haunt the world, with Iraq and Afghanistan becoming household topics! 'Democracy' came knocking on Afghanistan's door, and an apology of a government remained in power. But some things never really changed - Israel and Palestine continued their hate-hate relationship, with a rather intense fight breaking out in 2008.
As far as India went, in terms of politics and diplomacy, the unending suspicious ties with Pakistan continued, and after years and years of lobbying, we finally celebrated the de-hyphenation from India-Pak. Such ado over this event, why is all I ask, when a larger, more powerful neighbor hell-bent on taking away Arunachal Pradesh is a better entity to compare with in an attempt to improve oneself! Mumbai suffered more terror attacks, one at Gateway, one on Western Railway and the worst at CST, the Taj, Trident and Chabad house. And to add to it, Indian media went ballistic relaying all events on primetime TV!
Terror aside, the Indian economy shone. There was a fair bit of political stability, with one coalition keeping power for eight years. A person of non-Indian origin almost became the PM. While in the US Barack Obama came to power signaling a wave of the 'can do' spirit. Indian stock markets crossed 20,000, fell and toyed with the figure again despite the global recession.
China rose and is still rising. The Yuan, though is still pegged. 2008 saw a spectacular show by China with the summer Olympics announcing to the world that China had indeed arrived. India, in comparison hosted the Commonwealth Games amidst corruption of the highest, ugliest order. While on sport, I'll just say Roger Federer and Rafael Nadal - two pillars of tennis history and two pillars, who I hope will face off in the next decade too. Again while on sport, I'll just mention Michael Schumacher, who built his record-breaking, record-making career in this decade, thrilling a million fans like myself. No more on MSC, because I could put in volumes on his scarlet days. So, just an entity that defined my taste in sport over the past 10 years.
This decade also saw Google becoming synonymous with search, so much that I just 'google' up some data! And Apple, the company forgotten ever since the alleged GUI theft event reincarnated as the suave gadget guru of the decade! i-pod, i-phone and now i-pad, Jobs is just one inventive genius indeed! From landlines to smartphones, the hand-held device just became an inseparable part of the common man's life!
Climate change is a reality. Mumbai saw insane flooding in 2005. Australia is seeing it now. China sees such rains and floods every year, killing thousands at the minimum! Drought in the early part of a year, followed by floods, insanely hot summers, unseasonal rains, extremely cold and unforgiving winters - this decade has seen em all! 2 climate change conferences at exotic locations later, we are nowhere near a tangible solution. Yes, we have exquisite concepts like carbon trading, carbon credits and so on. But none of those are making winters less severe.
This decade also lost quite a bit. Lehman Brothers, Merrill Lynch, Bear Stearns were lost in their true spirit, taken over, given a makeover changing the face of the Global financial system in toto. Michael Jackson, perhaps, was one of the biggest losses for music fans of Gen Y. People may say several things, but the fact remains that when the sound of 'Heal the World', or 'Give in to me ring out', the young heart still gets thrilled.
A lot more happened. But a post longer than so much would be mighty boring to write. So more, and perhaps the right amount to do justice to this awesome decade, maybe a tad later....
Monday, December 20, 2010
Driving me crazy - II
Couldn’t quite help it. I resisted the urge. Turned my thoughts away as my fingers tingled. But try as I might, I just could not resist putting up my thoughts on the perils of driving in Mumbai. And I know I might sound like the eternal cribber, given that, and I guess I must be lucky to not know this first hand, Mumbai traffic on any day is much better organized than maybe the rest of India! But, cribbing and complaining are second nature to women and so, here goes – driving me crazy – Part II. Part I is right here.
Try driving in a marketplace on a Sunday afternoon. Well, I did. Out of an innate laziness towards walking into the market, although I still claim I drove because the shopping list I had was humongous. Regardless of that, one hot, hungry Sunday afternoon, I set off into a marketplace, windows rolled up, sunglasses on my eyes, music in my ear, et al. I believed that people generally run errands on Saturday and take Sunday easy. So I assumed I’d be able to park, well at least park, if not park easily. As it turned out, the whole road was a parking lot. The road was filled with damsels in distress! Indeed parking lights were supplanted by the distress signal! People would just swoop into the roads and, well, STOP. At one such sample, I let out a louuuuuuuuuud honk, only to be met by nothing in response. Irritated, I wanted to move into an alleyway which I guessed would be less congested, only to find the entrance to the alley shut off by, yes, another parked car!
Distressed, annoyed, frustrated and with an aching ankle, (imagine driving for 15 minutes in first gear!), I cursed the traffic police under my breath. I complained to myself, lamenting why they were always absent on Sundays. Or any day when you wanted them most. I almost converted to Keynesianism, having sufficiently understood that the upwardly mobile Indian (read Mumbai) population, most definitely needed strict policing, to be held in check. If only there was one cop somewhere, maybe, just maybe things would be calmer. I could perhaps drive on the road, listening to my music, rather than wishing my horn would play a tune I liked! Maybe, I’d have to honk more at oblivious people, rather than at cars parked on the road, in a manner that looked as if the whole place had been hit by a hurricane. Maybe, I might have been able to finish my work and go on home, and stop my poor tummy from growling in anger!
The frustration gave way to a new determination. I decided that when in Rome, I will do as Romans do. Much as I hated it, I decided to park in the middle of everywhere myself and proceed to the shops to get my work done. To hell with road etiquette. To hell with my motto of ‘drive like you would want others in front of you to drive’. And I parked in front of the shop where I had to pick up the most number of things. I felt a weird sense of guilt, but I marched on regardless. I picked up the olives, the pasta, the sauces, the everything, thinking happily about the prospect of some food soon. I bought myself a bar of chocolate to keep my tummy at bay till that time and went on picking things off the aisles. Presently, I finished shopping.
A very large bag in tow, I finally stepped out, to find a large chalk mark at the place where I’d parked, with a message there asking me to come to the nearest police station and pick up my car!
Try driving in a marketplace on a Sunday afternoon. Well, I did. Out of an innate laziness towards walking into the market, although I still claim I drove because the shopping list I had was humongous. Regardless of that, one hot, hungry Sunday afternoon, I set off into a marketplace, windows rolled up, sunglasses on my eyes, music in my ear, et al. I believed that people generally run errands on Saturday and take Sunday easy. So I assumed I’d be able to park, well at least park, if not park easily. As it turned out, the whole road was a parking lot. The road was filled with damsels in distress! Indeed parking lights were supplanted by the distress signal! People would just swoop into the roads and, well, STOP. At one such sample, I let out a louuuuuuuuuud honk, only to be met by nothing in response. Irritated, I wanted to move into an alleyway which I guessed would be less congested, only to find the entrance to the alley shut off by, yes, another parked car!
Distressed, annoyed, frustrated and with an aching ankle, (imagine driving for 15 minutes in first gear!), I cursed the traffic police under my breath. I complained to myself, lamenting why they were always absent on Sundays. Or any day when you wanted them most. I almost converted to Keynesianism, having sufficiently understood that the upwardly mobile Indian (read Mumbai) population, most definitely needed strict policing, to be held in check. If only there was one cop somewhere, maybe, just maybe things would be calmer. I could perhaps drive on the road, listening to my music, rather than wishing my horn would play a tune I liked! Maybe, I’d have to honk more at oblivious people, rather than at cars parked on the road, in a manner that looked as if the whole place had been hit by a hurricane. Maybe, I might have been able to finish my work and go on home, and stop my poor tummy from growling in anger!
The frustration gave way to a new determination. I decided that when in Rome, I will do as Romans do. Much as I hated it, I decided to park in the middle of everywhere myself and proceed to the shops to get my work done. To hell with road etiquette. To hell with my motto of ‘drive like you would want others in front of you to drive’. And I parked in front of the shop where I had to pick up the most number of things. I felt a weird sense of guilt, but I marched on regardless. I picked up the olives, the pasta, the sauces, the everything, thinking happily about the prospect of some food soon. I bought myself a bar of chocolate to keep my tummy at bay till that time and went on picking things off the aisles. Presently, I finished shopping.
A very large bag in tow, I finally stepped out, to find a large chalk mark at the place where I’d parked, with a message there asking me to come to the nearest police station and pick up my car!
Monday, December 06, 2010
A land of the Wannabes!!
The other day, I finally watched the episode of Koffee with Karan that had the so-called awesome ladies - Deepika Padukone and Sonam Kapoor in konversation with Karan Johar. Yes, I was jobless on a Sunday afternoon and I really wanted to see what the yap was all about. As it turned out, it was really much ado about nothing! The women were dressed in identical looking evening gowns. One in brown and another in red. The one in red was so clearly uncomfortable in the outfit, that you really wonder who forced them to dress up that way! Plus, I could decipher precious little through the whole konversation, primarily because Karan and the two women were too busy giggling like little girls throughout the show! It beats me how anyone could have understood anything from the entire show to create a fuss about anything at all!
All this is still beside the point. The point was the way one of the women spoke - complete with an accent. She acts in Hindi movies,is an Indian (unlike Ms Kaif, who makes no bones about the fact that she's firang), but still says frraaands, instead of friends. No, I don't wish to pronounce the word in the Pnjabbi way. But you get the drift.
Unfortunately, this is an epidemic sweeping across all of the upwardly mobile Indian population. It's a hilarious bug that's hitching on to almost anyone who has driven past the international airport! Fake accents are the thing of the day. So it's byilding, and not bilding. It's yaaas and not yes. It's fridee and not Friday. At times it's even Karadee, and not Karate, although ages ago, when we were still a developing country, we said karate as in karatay. The actual pronunciation is kara-tay from the Japanese kara- hatay. But since the west says 'the next karadee kid', we switch to karadee too!
If the obsession stopped with the accent, things would have just stayed funny. But the fixation goes beyond just speech to dressing and eating habits! So, formal clothes worn by Jennifer Aniston look good only on her! Indian women (and I don't mean the size zero wannabes) trying to fit into clothes of those dimensions are a pitiful cry for help. Self-proclaimed fashionista Sonam Kapoor herself declared that no one in the Indian film industry has a half decent fashion sense, (except her of course). So, if the glam industry has no sense, the common woman, clearly has no fashion sense. So, what is typically a pregnancy top in the west, becomes a cool, hip top in urban India. Someone wore it somewhere in a SoBo do, and it becomes the next biggest fashion statement! Firang evening gowns look good on well, firangs. But such is our fixation with all things firang, that we'd force fit ourselves into such a gown, and look like a complete, well, fish out of water.
Even dressing sense, is perhaps a thing that maybe just deserves some sympathy. What is most worrisome is the eating trend. Central obesity is a stark reality. Just look around you at the number of rotund people on roads or trains or in cars. The number of cars in Mumbai has blown out of control. People shy away from walking 10 feet. The other day, as part of an altercation over the phone, with a certain shopkeeper, I flatly refused to go and visit his shop for the 7th time for my merchandise and insisted he deliver it at my place. His reaction was, "Madam, aap mat aao. Driver ko bhej do!" So, the general understanding is that everyone, everywhere is spoilt for comfort. Nobody ever walks and the result is that India is turning into a plus sized country! Scary? Yes indeed. The stress levels, the filthy eating habits, the obsession with junk food, all point towards a ticking time bomb!
If only we'd not be so ashamed of being who we are! Indian English is understandable and it stands out, just like a German accent or a Japanese accent. Indian clothes are an object of awe the world over. The sari is by and far one of the most elegant, yet sensuous outfits of all time. And our food and food habits, well, most of it at least, is heralded as true healthy food. If only we'd really be proud to be Indian...
All this is still beside the point. The point was the way one of the women spoke - complete with an accent. She acts in Hindi movies,is an Indian (unlike Ms Kaif, who makes no bones about the fact that she's firang), but still says frraaands, instead of friends. No, I don't wish to pronounce the word in the Pnjabbi way. But you get the drift.
Unfortunately, this is an epidemic sweeping across all of the upwardly mobile Indian population. It's a hilarious bug that's hitching on to almost anyone who has driven past the international airport! Fake accents are the thing of the day. So it's byilding, and not bilding. It's yaaas and not yes. It's fridee and not Friday. At times it's even Karadee, and not Karate, although ages ago, when we were still a developing country, we said karate as in karatay. The actual pronunciation is kara-tay from the Japanese kara- hatay. But since the west says 'the next karadee kid', we switch to karadee too!
If the obsession stopped with the accent, things would have just stayed funny. But the fixation goes beyond just speech to dressing and eating habits! So, formal clothes worn by Jennifer Aniston look good only on her! Indian women (and I don't mean the size zero wannabes) trying to fit into clothes of those dimensions are a pitiful cry for help. Self-proclaimed fashionista Sonam Kapoor herself declared that no one in the Indian film industry has a half decent fashion sense, (except her of course). So, if the glam industry has no sense, the common woman, clearly has no fashion sense. So, what is typically a pregnancy top in the west, becomes a cool, hip top in urban India. Someone wore it somewhere in a SoBo do, and it becomes the next biggest fashion statement! Firang evening gowns look good on well, firangs. But such is our fixation with all things firang, that we'd force fit ourselves into such a gown, and look like a complete, well, fish out of water.
Even dressing sense, is perhaps a thing that maybe just deserves some sympathy. What is most worrisome is the eating trend. Central obesity is a stark reality. Just look around you at the number of rotund people on roads or trains or in cars. The number of cars in Mumbai has blown out of control. People shy away from walking 10 feet. The other day, as part of an altercation over the phone, with a certain shopkeeper, I flatly refused to go and visit his shop for the 7th time for my merchandise and insisted he deliver it at my place. His reaction was, "Madam, aap mat aao. Driver ko bhej do!" So, the general understanding is that everyone, everywhere is spoilt for comfort. Nobody ever walks and the result is that India is turning into a plus sized country! Scary? Yes indeed. The stress levels, the filthy eating habits, the obsession with junk food, all point towards a ticking time bomb!
If only we'd not be so ashamed of being who we are! Indian English is understandable and it stands out, just like a German accent or a Japanese accent. Indian clothes are an object of awe the world over. The sari is by and far one of the most elegant, yet sensuous outfits of all time. And our food and food habits, well, most of it at least, is heralded as true healthy food. If only we'd really be proud to be Indian...
Thursday, December 02, 2010
Etiquette or Eti-Quetty???!!
Mumbai has been seeing some really unseasonal rains, these past few weeks. November rain used to be synonymous only with Guns n Roses. But these unseasonal rains brought along not just a Londonesque climate but also all those multicolored umbrellas back outside. Although right now, Londonesque would be a weather of snow, snow and more snow. Nevertheless, the rains brought out poetic weather, umbrellas, chilly winds and everything nice. In fact, these rains weren't that bad, since the muck and drenching rains were missing.
But what wasn't missing, was the lack of umbrella etiquette!
So, you're this person of above average height walking on a sidewalk, and there is someone else walking towards you, with an umbrella held aloft her head. Above average height implies umbrellas held aloft others' heads are at eye level for you! So when people do not believe in umbrella etiquette, they walk on, oblivious to your cowering - an earnest attempt to protect your eyes. Then again, there are other ways of not displaying umbrella etiquette. Like putting up a wet umbrella on a train or bus seat, carrying around stinky umbrellas, stealing someone else's good umbrella after leaving behind your own crappy umbrella!
If only lack of etiquette remained restricted to umbrellas. Cell phone penetration in India is one of the highest in the world. Unfortunately, cell phone etiquette is an unknown term! And believe me, it is perhaps one of the most essential pieces of learning people in India need to get! I am not being overly conceited when I say this, but honestly, if you want to listen to 'Munni Badnam Hui', go ahead by all means. WITH EARPHONES!!! Try hopping on to a bus sometime, and I can guarantee you'll come across someone blaring music on their phones while giving everyone around a gloating smile that says, "Oh yeah! I have a phone that plays music!" And then you have the story of the ring tone. Ring tones seem to transcend generations. So you have a real creepy song set on loud as your ring tone. And it rings in a temple, or a doctor's office or just your own office! And unfortunately the tech-unsavvy person who perhaps still struggles with reading the displayed number, let alone answering a call, subjects you to such wonderful music for a good 50 seconds. Believe me, no matter what you went to the temple to pray for, you end up praying that God stop that cell phone from ringing. And He listens!
And the last form of lack of etiquette involves women on phones in the middle of the road! No offense intended to the fairer sex, given that I belong to the said gender myself. But honestly, get behind the wheel and try negotiating a turn while trying to avoid hitting a brightly dressed female who does not respond to a loud, incessant honk. Earlier phones used to be glued to just one ear. The other ear could hear a honk. Now, people have earphones to listen to music and listen to a caller's voice while on the road. And these wonderful devices, shut off both ears! Much to the talker's delight and the driver's chagrin. Why am I specifically mentioning women? Because once you honk loudly and then turn after going through a quasi nervous breakdown, these wonderful women, notice that it's a woman behind the wheel who honked and disturbed their phone conversation and give you such a dirty glare, that you honestly wonder whether you did something wrong! At least the men are more considerate when they notice a woman behind the wheel and move aside without so much as a second look.
Oh well, I must stay away from the perils of driving on Mumbai roads, especially those instances that involve women on roads or women drivers, since those stories make up epics I'll talk about later. As of now, it's a resignation with a sense of exasperation that accompanies cloudy skies and umbrellas or just everyday life in a cell phone infested city!
But what wasn't missing, was the lack of umbrella etiquette!
So, you're this person of above average height walking on a sidewalk, and there is someone else walking towards you, with an umbrella held aloft her head. Above average height implies umbrellas held aloft others' heads are at eye level for you! So when people do not believe in umbrella etiquette, they walk on, oblivious to your cowering - an earnest attempt to protect your eyes. Then again, there are other ways of not displaying umbrella etiquette. Like putting up a wet umbrella on a train or bus seat, carrying around stinky umbrellas, stealing someone else's good umbrella after leaving behind your own crappy umbrella!
If only lack of etiquette remained restricted to umbrellas. Cell phone penetration in India is one of the highest in the world. Unfortunately, cell phone etiquette is an unknown term! And believe me, it is perhaps one of the most essential pieces of learning people in India need to get! I am not being overly conceited when I say this, but honestly, if you want to listen to 'Munni Badnam Hui', go ahead by all means. WITH EARPHONES!!! Try hopping on to a bus sometime, and I can guarantee you'll come across someone blaring music on their phones while giving everyone around a gloating smile that says, "Oh yeah! I have a phone that plays music!" And then you have the story of the ring tone. Ring tones seem to transcend generations. So you have a real creepy song set on loud as your ring tone. And it rings in a temple, or a doctor's office or just your own office! And unfortunately the tech-unsavvy person who perhaps still struggles with reading the displayed number, let alone answering a call, subjects you to such wonderful music for a good 50 seconds. Believe me, no matter what you went to the temple to pray for, you end up praying that God stop that cell phone from ringing. And He listens!
And the last form of lack of etiquette involves women on phones in the middle of the road! No offense intended to the fairer sex, given that I belong to the said gender myself. But honestly, get behind the wheel and try negotiating a turn while trying to avoid hitting a brightly dressed female who does not respond to a loud, incessant honk. Earlier phones used to be glued to just one ear. The other ear could hear a honk. Now, people have earphones to listen to music and listen to a caller's voice while on the road. And these wonderful devices, shut off both ears! Much to the talker's delight and the driver's chagrin. Why am I specifically mentioning women? Because once you honk loudly and then turn after going through a quasi nervous breakdown, these wonderful women, notice that it's a woman behind the wheel who honked and disturbed their phone conversation and give you such a dirty glare, that you honestly wonder whether you did something wrong! At least the men are more considerate when they notice a woman behind the wheel and move aside without so much as a second look.
Oh well, I must stay away from the perils of driving on Mumbai roads, especially those instances that involve women on roads or women drivers, since those stories make up epics I'll talk about later. As of now, it's a resignation with a sense of exasperation that accompanies cloudy skies and umbrellas or just everyday life in a cell phone infested city!
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