Friday, May 01, 2009

Remorseful, guilt-ridden at a wasteful expenditure

So what did I do today? Frankly my dear, I don't know! And that's what really psychs me out. I was up till 4.30 am last night, soliciting a comment that goes like, "Subah saadhey chaar ko koi post likhta hai kya paagalon ki tarah?" So, by a natural progression, my eyes refused to open till around 9.30. Even then, the eyes wouldn't open, but the stomach growled, saying, "Womannnnn you were awake till 4.30 am, and gave me not even a coffee, let alone some luscious brown chocolate cream biscuits that you have in a highly invidious manner stashed away somewhere. GET UP NOW AND FEED ME!" So, out I tumbled, and headed for some breakfast, got back, saw the reminder of my rather lackluster movie (I learnt never to judge a book by its cover / movie by its starcast). And that is where I draw a blank. What of consequence did I do thereafter????? I feel ashamed to say, nothing at all. Random stuff. Picking up some random bits off youtube, some freak pieces of news, chatting with a dozen friends all over the place - I have to aver, INTERNET IS ADDICTIVE. Life was better ages ago, when one had to sit in front of a desktop to connect to the internet, and that meant that you would be away from people making interesting conversation or perhaps the TV even, and mind you, in those days, these factors were deterrents against internet addiction! And, now, anywhere internet, has me ducking in there all the time, lost in the plethora of nonsense! But believe you me, it is awfully addictive.

So, at the end of the day, as I sit back, I don't feel fulfilled, satisfied, since I did nothing of consequence. No reading, no classwork, no movies, no runs, NOTHING! Somewhere I am looking for some approval saying, 'its fine - you are allowed to let one day go completely wasted'. I just feel an awful sense of remorse and guilt, that I let a perfectly normal day go totally unutilized - when there was soooooo much I had been wanting to do. Sigh! I thought I might as well clock some written stuff in here, as my sole point of 'accomplishment' in a day that had better be known as a day that never existed at all.


Prasoon said...

There you go - Herez the approval (only if it counts :P) -
its fine - you are allowed to let one day go completely wastedWell, a how about a dunk wrt this accomplishment. Will a few other ISBians please stand up for this task I ask! :)

Sindhu Subramaniam said...

That is so sweet.... silly mind of mine needs to get attuned to it :)

BrownPhantom said...

Yes yes yes. And how we cheat ourselves while watching those videos or reading that junk. "It would add knowlenge and nurture imagination", that's what I told myself while I kept clicking one link after other :).

Veibha said...

u r remorseful for just one day!!!! Mine is 4 years!!! I would say u took a sabbatical for a day one is a saint need to chill sometimes..hahahahaha