Cheers to optimism

Ok, almost the whole world would be talking about the Academy awards. Almost every Indian would be going gaga over the great Indian success story. Almost every person even remotely associated with the movie / India / Mumbai, would have an opinion. Granted. Then why am I writing about the same phenomenon? Well, I wrote before on the Slumdog Phenomenon, as I'd like to call it, and I write again, since I feel very happy with the results, more so, because this whole event is an example of the power of hope.

The Slumdog victory is no tiny achievement. 80% strike rate! As though working on a checklist -
X Best Picture
X Best Director – Danny Boyle
X Best Original Score – A. R. Rahman
X Best Original Song – "Jai Ho", by A. R. Rahman (music) & Gulzar (lyrics)
X Best Adapted Screenplay – Simon Beaufoy
X Best Cinematography – Anthony Dod Mantle
X Best Film Editing – Chris Dickens
X Best Sound Mixing – Resul Pookutty, Richard Pryke, Ian Tapp
OOPS! Best Sound Editing – Tom Sayers
OOPS! Best Original Song – "O... Saya", by A. R. Rahman & M.I.A. (lyrics) (cos the other song took its place!!!)

But why is the whole world talking about the Oscars? Well, it is a dream for everyone who is even remotely related to the entertainment industry to be feted at the Oscars. Kate Winslet very cutely described this alluding to her shampoo bottle that she imagined to be an Oscar all through her childhood. A R Rahman called it a dream come true, speaking of the power of love that brought him to the Kodak theater. Why? Because the Academy and the judges are all accomplished in their own right. There's a saying in Tamil that goes as 'Vasishtar Vaayaal Brahma Rishi' which means, that being feted by the pinnacle of the field is the best compliment one can get. So when the best in the art anoint you to have given the best performance of the year, it is something to feel very very proud about.

So while everyone is talking about how Slumdog swept the Oscars, and almost everyone says that India has finally found global recognition blah blah blah, here's my POV.

First, so many 'Indians' detracted the movie saying that it was a portrayal of the filth called India, about how everyone outside our country took morbid pleasure portraying an India of nightmarish proportions! Many so called 'patriots' even went on to say that one must boycott the movie, since it portrays India in poor light. Back then in my post on My take on the Slumdog Phenomenon, I had spoken about this view held by people, and how totally parochial the view was. And now, as some people who believe that creativity is border-less and knows no language or religion got together and made a movie about the power of hope and optimism, almost everyone wants a piece of that victory pie!

When the nominations were out, I rather strongly believed that Slumdog might not make the cut. My main point of contention was that Slumdog, as a movie is much too 'happy' to win an Oscar. Take the year 2005 for instance - Million Dollar Baby. Clint Eastwood is a great guy who makes great movies. But the movie left you feeling so sad! Gladiator - saaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaad. Lord of the Rings - Return of the King - Confused!!! The Departed - Shaken. Slumdog Millionaire - Smiling, happy! Doesn't seem to fit, right? And then I thought - maybe since the times are so dire with the words recession, unemployment, losses, meltdown doing the rounds in all discussions, maybe at least somewhere the feeling should be good and happy, perhaps even in a movie theater for those 3 hours. Maybe?

The movie, according to me is a tribute to the spirit of Mumbai. I know it sounds cliched, but look at some aspects. This city gives you the Bindaas attitude. A life of having to fight the traffic, the crowds and the commute distances sort of gives us Mumbaikars the 'Kya Farak Padta Hai' nature that teaches you to fight all odds to survive. Mumbai teaches you to be street smart and the way the 'Slumdog' even gets a job in a call center, shows the never-say-die spirit that eventually allows almost all Mumbaikars to survive, and the hard working, fortunate ones to even make it big! This city gives people the will to fight to reach a goal. Like how Jamal has the strong wish to find Latika, and the reason why he participates in WWTBAM was because she sees the show. And at the end, the movie leaves you with a tangy happy happy feeling - much like how a hard core Mumbaikar eventually feels about his city - No matter how much one might crib about this city, when the time comes to pit Mumbai against another city, a Mumbaikar is ferociously in love with Maximum city - the taste of the city can never turn bitter for a Mumbaikar.

Some may argue that the city has nothing to do with these attitudes. I say, what is a city without the component people???

For me, this movie symbolizes Mumbai and the spirit of hope and optimism. Hoping to meet the love of one's life, hoping to survive, hoping to make something of one's life. And so, I guess the best way to sign off from this rather long post would be to quote another one of my favorite movies, multiple Oscar winner again - The Shawshank Redemption. "Hope is a good thing, maybe one of the best things, and a good thing never dies." Jai Ho!

Unfaithfully yours

Saw this piece of news on the Satyam fiasco today, that some top execs at Satyam were trying to undercut the firm, by pitching their own services, or that of rival firms, which perhaps they would join in the near future. I was aghast. It just can't get any lower. I mean, whatever happened to loyalty towards a firm? OK, ethics are the last things to talk about, when Satyam is in question here. Of course a scamster is anything but ethical. Just a few days before the notorious confession, came news of massive insider trading. And now, while 53,000 - some xyz people wonder where else they can find a job, since this scam has come at a time of a global meltdown, and the loss of a job for them means the prospect of a default on a house EMI, or extended working hours for the spouse, here are some xyz people busy sabotaging any chances of Satyam's survival, for their personal gain.

I then wondered whether this was an Indian phenomenon? The gross lack of ethics, and anything ethical. Well, a hijack of ethics happens everywhere. Martha Stewart. But she was jailed for insider trading. Thain and his multi-million dollar office makeover, got him a lot of negative publicity. So he went on air to say he'd reimburse the amount in full! So does that mean that non-Indians mess up, and then somehow atone for the wrongdoing? While we Indians screw up and feel happy ever after? Maybe yes. Its usually Indians who generally believe in one's own benefit, unmindful of the consequences. If you go and ask the erring Satyam execs, they'd say that Ramalinga Raju never bothered about them while siphoning out money into his sons' firm, and so why should they now care? Touche! Maybe our corporate honchos took lessons from our politicos, for whom poll speak is all about seat numbers, irrespective of the alliances. So, forget ideology, forget common minimum programmes, its all about numbers. That's why perhaps, now, in the run up to the elections, we see alliances after alliances being inked, we see clandestine meetings which apparently mean nothing more than a back thump between old buddies! But then where do such tactics leave the image of corporate India? Certainly nowhere near pretty and rosy.

SOS - Jai Hanuman

Obama's cabinet is struggling with the worst economy ever. Predictions say that we haven't hit rock bottom yet. And at such a time, comes news of tax evasions and ideological differences in his cabinet. People start wondering whether Obama will truly deliver and some cynics even say that the dream period is over! And Obama comes on air and says - "I screwed up." Wow! Lochas notwithstanding, my respect for this guy actually went up a notch. He took on the mantle of President, fully aware of the circumstances and built a strong team to advise him on how to proceed. And when issues from the Rod Blagojevich scandal through Tim Geithner and now Judd Gregg, his Commerce secretary who wishes to withdraw his nomination citing ideological differences, cropped up, he has the guts to say he made a mistake, when his predecessor, in his farewell speech claimed that his presidency actually was great and brought about so many good things!!!! Yeah! Right!!! But people and the media were quick to blast this claim!

What I like here , is the fact that Obama considers himself responsible and accountable to the office he has been elected to. Although not much can be claimed about Dubyaman, to a great extent, democracy in the United States is strong. How representative, or how equal, is something only the Americans who live a daily life there would know. But to an outsider, watching the media, it looks pretty rosy and powerful indeed.

India, though is lauded for its belief in democracy. But look. It's election year, and everyone is out poaching, scoring brownie points at the expense of the common man. Convicts and criminals are given tickets to fight elections. Seats are bartered between parties for power. Even election commissioners are said to be partisan. A sudden moral police with primitive ideas goes rampant with its own personal agenda, and tongues wag about which political party the said moral brigade bears allegiance to. I just wonder, are WE truly being represented there? I mean, are we murderers, rapists, corrupt, chauvinists?

We invite terrorists with open arms, on account of the gross miscarriage of our intelligence and security infrastructure. Our neighbors claim to have been eroded by the Taliban. Our own policy makers are too busy haggling with each other to make it to the corridors of power. At such a time, who does the common man turn to? Hanuman.... Like how Mumbai did today - Chant Mumbai for a Shant Mumbai. Hanuman Chaleesa chanting by common men, to invoke the Lord's protection. Since finally only He can DELIVER US FROM EVIL.... AMEN..................

Bizarre colloquy

You know this thing about weird mannerisms that you develop while speaking? A random phrase or word, finds its place in the most grammatically wrong places. And it becomes such a habit that the words just escape your mouth as you speak. The funniest thing though is that every so frequently, the 'gap words' as I'd like to call them, keep changing.

While in high school, it used to be like. You know, like, school used to be fun, like because of the gang we had. Although the subjects were like real boring, somehow, the way we used to like spend time with our friends like made life so much more fun.

Then, while I was in college, I was basically a victim of the basic usage of basically. Almost all my sentences would basically begin with basically, and perhaps even end in basically the same way. This basic habit of mine was made the basic butt of all basic jokes. Including one where I was asked why I basically used basically, instead of acidically!

One of my friends had the extraordinary habit of using 'Mhanje' - the Marathi word that means umm, well, MEANS!!! When we told him that he uses mhanje, he said, " Really? I never noticed, mhanje I can't really pay attention to what I speak, so I don't know. Anyway thanks for telling me, though, mhanje, that's the way I can perhaps change myself you know?"

My current verbal fixation happens to be 'what rubbish'. I know, it's a very weird fixation indeed, and you might wonder how it finds its applicability in my everyday conversations. Well, its like basically using the phrase to express astonishment, mhanje, surprise at a statement in a conversation. Like, when my friend remarked that the world was not in a recession, but that it just appears to be so, since everything in the world is a matter of interpretation! However, my phrase fetish sometimes goes overboard. Like the other day, one of my friends said that she had met her guy and was tying the knot in 6 months. And I said, 'What Rubbish'.... She refused to foot the tab for what was supposed to be a 'breaking the news' treat. No Rubbish

Duplicitous protectionism

The Groundhog is supposed to be the harbinger of spring. Once the groundhog is sighted on Groundhog Day people rejoice, since spring is round the corner and the dreary winter is almost over. Likewise, in case of a forest fire, the rhino is rumored to run out of the forest as though its own tail were on fire, and this sort of gives a cue to other animals to grab their coats and run! Then again, before Mt. Vesuvius erupted incinerating Pompeii, the legend goes that dogs all over the town howled, and acted crazy. Precursors, forebears, harbingers, whatever.

You might wonder why I am saying these things. Because I feel that we should have read the signs long ago. Remember how Mumbai and Maharashtra was held to ransom a few months back on the whole North Indian v/s Maharashtrian story? Well, now, with the global economic meltdown, British are out on the streets protesting and urging the government to provide them with right of way when it comes to jobs in their own country. Now, the US House wants to ban American companies that employ people on H1B visas. The bailout has fine print that reads - 'Buy American'. Why? because they want food cooked by the family to be eaten by family first before being given to the poor. Curb internal unemployment. Encourage indigenous industry first and prevent internal enterprise from being devoured by cheaper Eastern-world substitutes. Are they right? Who knows? One may argue that American tax payers' money had better be used to encourage American industry. But this argument never surfaced when the world was busy buying American debt. People call this 'Protectionist policies' when they are the victims. But the same people call this phenomenon 'protection of self interests' while they act as the enforcers of such policies. Duplicity? Indeed..............

Parallels exist everywhere. It is up to the informed, aware individuals to decide which way to go. Why not let the market decide which way to go, since history has proven time and time again that markets are by and far the most righteous, and fair entities in the game called life. Let the markets decide whether to 'buy American'. Let 'American' be competent enough to compete on the world stage unaided. Let the market decide whether a Jha or a Jadhav gets an opportunity. Let each compete on merit. This is the only way we can achieve overall development of our core competence.

Mumbai - Paradise lost....

Once upon a time I had written about how everything is always personal. I am a very strong Mumbaiphile, in that I like and love anything and everything about my city. So, when one of my friends remarked that Mumbai no longer is what it was, I denied it, vociferously! But of late, looking at what I read in the papers, and what I see happening around me, I begin to wonder where has my city gone? Or rather what has happened to it?

One, I used to once boast about how safe my city is for women. How unlike Delhi or for that matter NY. I used to speak about how comfortable it was for me, as a Mumbaikar to step out late at night and be comfortable and assured that I am at no risk. But now, everyday, I read about cases of rape in the newspapers. At places not typically associated with crime. There was once a time, when morals were intact with the poorer sections of society. A time, when people said, "It's safer to go walking around Bombay's mill district as compared to the posh parts of South Mumbai." But now, it seems that that axiom has been turned on its head! Either that, or perhaps our newspapers have found a new 'rape correspondent' to write for the highly tabloidized newspapers.

I was driving the other day, at a steady pace, when out of nowhere this guy loomed over my rear-view mirror first to the right and then to the left and finally sped at almost 300 miles an hour on a narrow one lane street. But before I could regain my composure, and veer my car to avoid hitting a tree, this guy screech braked in front of me. As if that was not enough, on the main road that forms the spine of Mumbai, taxis and two-wheelers swarm around. Driving on such roads, feels like the chase sequence of Minority Report! While driving, you need to be Cyclops and look on all sides at once, since you never know where a vehicle can come from. Sense of discipline is absolutely missing. And the worst part is, if you try to express your displeasure through signs, no one will stop a minute to think about their fault. They would instead not mind jumping out of their car and screaming expletives at you, irrespective of who you are, or what your point is. Standard dialogues include - upon being scratched by a cabbie ' If you so love your car, that you don't want a scratch on it, who asked you to take the car out?' I wonder whether such an attitude springs from the fact that the offenders generally do not own the car and hence do not care what happens to it. Employed drivers, cabbies, think about it. If this were indeed the case, then God bless Mumbai, with the Tata Nano booking commencing soon. Drive a kilometer on the perennially dug up backbone roads of Bombay, and I can guarantee the fact that you'll return with a headache. Road rage here is not the brash driving one associates with uber rich spoilt kids. Road rage in Mumbai is the continuous honking at traffic signals, the simmering anger amongst members of the driving community. And why can't people be angry? Look at the gross lack of overtaking etiquette and the massive lane indiscipline.

There was an article in the paper today of a kid who brought a lac of rupees in currency notes to school (stolen from home) and flaunted it to his classmates. If this is indeed true, can someone check the tax history of the offender kid's parents? And if this story is true, WHATEVER IS HAPPENING TO KIDS IN MY CITY? Granted, we are still far away from the University shootings seen in the US. But this is certainly not the kind of kidlife we had as kids, not so long ago.

People are up in arms against Slumdog, since it portrays poverty and slum life in Mumbai. They want all of Mumbai to be seen by the world. Hell, even I vociferously demanded a 360 degree view of Mumbai, since I wanted the world to see the Mumbai I lived in, the city I loved. But as the days go by, when seen from within, I have to quote Milton - Paradise Lost indeed.....

India consciousness - taking a dig in the name of patriotism

This whole India - consciousness is at an all time high. Late last year, we had the Olympic Gold, and bronze medals - firsts for India, a brilliant test series win in cricket, Vishwanathan Anand becoming the World Champion, Chandrayaan. Add to that, the fact that India has been impacted much less by the global economic downturn. Granted, there is a slowdown, but not as much a slump as is seen in the global market. At least the effect is seeping in much slowly.

And at the start of this year, came the Slumdog phenomenon. A bunch of Golden Globes, and 10 Oscar nominations. All of a sudden, everyone had an opinion. Some said Slumdog was a slight on Indianness. Some said Slumdog was a true portrayal of the Indian underbelly. Some commented on some others' opinions. Basically suddenly, everyone was getting very patriotic and very touchy about India's image.

And now, the Australian Open, has given Indians a lot more to feel proud about. Boys singles champion - Yuki Bhambri and Mixed doubles - Mahesh Bhupathi and Sania Mirza. But as is always the case, there have been rumblings about Sania Mirza, her attitudes blah blah blah. And then again, there are some who say that doubles achievements are not really all that praiseworthy. I for one, disagree vehemently on these views. One, Ms Mirza plays. All said and done, with almost no support in India, in terms of tennis infrastructure, the small time Hyderabad gal has made a mark for India in the tennis arena. Breaking into championship tennis, into the top 50 ranks is extreeeeeeeeeeeemely difficult. But she relentlessly plays, and thanks to her, and Indian woman at least has a presence in world class tennis. Second, look at doubles matches. They are full of energy and players have to be agile, alert and brilliant in team work. When Federer won the Olympic gold in doubles, no one discounted his victory. So there really isn't any reason why anyone must discount the achievements of our doubles victors.

So this whole India - consciousness, is more of India - criticism, that is very rarely, if ever, constructive.

The next bout of patriotism, hopefully, will come up when the Oscar awards are given out. But then again, there will be talks of how a western portrayal of poverty and sadness won accolades for a firangi, at India's cost. But by then, I am sure most of us would be used to such comments and views and would know better than to take such thoughts seriously.

Rock on Rafa.....

A feeling of despair generally gets to me as the US Open draws to a close in September. Granted, there are a whole slew of tiny opens - Qatar, Shanghai, and god knows where else. But big deal, almost always the draw does not contain everyone, you wanna see, since if Roger plays at Shanghai, Rafa plays elsewhere and the classic wars are absent. So, when January slinks in, and everyone starts going towards the great Australian summer, in spite of a nip in the night air in the northern hemisphere where I live, I get a thrill waking up early in the morning, or staying up late to see the big matches that draw out not just talent, but unadulterated beauty.

Ok, now, for today's match, I am left truly speechless. The match was expected to be a thriller, and it was. Look at the scores - 7-5, 3-6, 7-6, 3-6, 6-2. The first set was close. Second, and fourth seemed to look like Rafa backed down on the steam and by set 5, Federer seemed to have let his fears and insecurities get the better of him! For me, I look at this match from 2 perspectives. One, a surface that has favored no one in particular, although it has been more hostile towards Nadal than to Federer, was tamed by Nadal. Second, Nadal had a tough match in his QF and SF matches. Gilles Simon, although wrapped up in 3 sets was a tough guy. Each point was scored with a fight. Compatriot Verdasco, however, gave Nadal a run for his money, with a five setter, that lasted 5 hours 14 minutes. And then Nadal lasted (strongly) 5 sets spanning 4 hrs 23 minutes, against Federer. What does this guy have for lunch? Is he Samson? To have strength in his hair???????? His strength, stamina and speed is phenomenal. Even Martina Navaratilova, at the start of the match mentioned that the tough semi final, may actually wear Nadal down. The heat wave this year actually made matters worse. Federer had it easy in his QF against Delpo (as some refer to Juan Martin Del Porto) and even the SF was a match that had to be played just because it was part of Federer's draw. Plus all his matches were at night, as against Nadal's matches in the sweltering heat of day. So, Nadal's victory was truly a win against all odds. Federer's tears during the presentation ceremony, looked really 'un-championish' and at first, I broke into a guffaw when I saw Federer cry! Granted, a record - equalling 14th Slam win was cruelly snatched away from Federer. But in terms of strength, strategy and sheer endurance, Nadal won hands down. Sleeves included! And when a 13 time Grand Slam Champion, stands next to you and cries on account of his loss, what can you say except - "Sorry for today. I know how you're feeling right now. It's really tough. But remember you are a great champion, you are one of the best in history and you're going to improve the 14 of Sampras."

Ferrero, Safin, Hewitt, came and went as easily as they came. And suddenly, when Hewitt was dethroned by a certain Roger Federer, who they described as having the most graceful tennis technique, we thought that he too may fade away. Nadal, when he broke into the scene was feted as the clay God. Then he started playing well in other surfaces, although making rather early exits on all surfaces other than clay. And then he started giving Lord Fedex some serious competition. We saw another Agassi - Sampras era in the making, after having been deprived of some classic tennis action for so long. Then last year, with Wimbledon, Nadal conquered grass. I was ecstatic, as were a whole slew of fans worldwide. The Olympic Gold was his first major hard court win. But that time, many were quick to say that the Fedex era was far from over, and that prediction came true, since Federer was quick to win US Open 08.

And so, last year, though high for Nadal, with 2 Grand Slam wins, an Olympic Gold, and the year ending on number 1, also saw Federer win US Open, and the Olympic doubles. Mixed year indeed. So, technically, no one was a favorite in the opening season of 09. But when suddenly defending champion Novak Djokovic, as usual, pulled out and Roddick, though in sterling form was minced by Federer, the scene narrowed down again to Rafa and Roger. And I must say these 2 never disappoint.

Looking ahead, we have the French Open, and again it will be a match of wits, another dream, another duel, and no matter who else may play in the draw, we, as tennis fans, can rest assured that we will have a tennis treat for sure.

60 years of the Indian Republic

India, Indian, Indianness. These words ring out in Desi communities the world over. Throw a Desi in a foreign country, he becomes successful. I am serious. We have one of the most successful 'diaspora' community in the world. Of course, we are not as omnipresent as our Cheeni bhais and behens, but we make it wherever we go. Indira Nooyi, Vikram Pandit (never mind current Citigroup fortunes), and the lodestars of Silicon Valley - Kanwal Rekhi, Rajat Gupta, Vinod Dham, Vinod Khosla, Sabeer Bhatia, all Indians. Kinda makes you feel proud. It goes on, Kalpana Chawla, L N Mittal, blah blah blah.

So what's the big deal? A bunch of Indians got out of our country, made it big and got covered in papers all these years. I may sound cynical when I ask, what is wrong with the Indian system, that these Indians chose to flourish outside the country. And what's the big deal with the patriotism, since we still don't have cleanliness, orderliness, discipline on roads, courtesy, more effective government. We need overall growth and not just growth of pockets, and an upgrade on the happiness quotient of the people. We still need better infrastructure, reduction in poverty, need to hold on to our intellectual capital, need true globalization, in the sense that people across the world must be as enthused about coming to India as Indians are to go out. So there are chinks in the Indian system, and so, we have greats developing outside, but not in India. But my take is that the Indian system is such that it teaches you how to struggle and work hard. So when thrown into a population that has thrived on prosperity (and has been fed the complacence tht accompanies prosperity), like the west, Indians stand out.

Our biggest USP - English and Math. I have seen kids in the west petrified of math. I have seen cashiers in stores in North America who can't calculate $100 - $37 mentally and tender out change if you give them $102. (We in India do that all the time!) English - we speak it with ease and so clients feel at home while dealing with us. China is ahead in terms of the math, but the lag behind on the English. But what do we have that China doesn't? We are a Republic. Constitution, democracy, bicameral legislature, democracy again. Granted, we may not have the most mature democracy, and it still may be years before we see an Obama fairytale in India, but we are getting there, and we eventually will, I am sure. And the power to choose who rules us, is immense, because it just means that we have the power to chart what we want to do.

We can feel proud of our Olympic Gold last year, Vish being the Chess World Champion, Tendulkar being the best cricketer in the world, Chandrayaan, Slumdog and A R Rehman. But if you look closely at the Indian success stories, they have all been personal dreams and personal achievements. Imagine what can happen if all 1 billion Indians develop a dream to make India the next superpower, and actually work towards achieving it? Happy Republic Day....

The Audacity of greed

'These are extraordinary times and they call for swift and extraordinary action' Man of the moment, Barack Obama made this statement this morning at the White House, while discussing the need for energy independence. America is now on the threshold of being the leader of energy thrift going forward. As a person watching the economic crisis from the sidelines, albeit apprehensive, that the rapidly unfolding mess, which shows no signs of having been completely unraveled, I can only watch, and watch with hope that the measures being taken by various economic superpowers to try and extricate the world from depressed gloom might actually work.

But every now and then, there are reports of how the top management of big firms squandered precious money, and how these excesses would have practically gone unnoticed, had it not been for the economic crisis.

Topping the list is John Thain - Merill Lynch CEO, who spent $1.2 million to redecorate his new office. His splurges include - $2,700 for six wall sconces, $5,000 for a mirror in his private dining room, $11,000 for fabric for a "Roman Shade”, $13,000 for a chandelier in the private dining room, $15,000 for a sofa, $16,000 for a "custom coffee table", $18,000 for a “George IV Desk", $25,000 for a "mahogany pedestal table", $28,000 for four pairs of curtains, $35,000 for something called a "commode on legs", $37,000 for six chairs in his private dining room, $68,000 for a "19th Century Credenza" in his office, $87,000 for a pair of guest chairs, $87,000 for an area rug in Thain's conference room and another area rug for $44,000, $230,000 to his driver for one year’s work, $800,000 to hire celebrity designer Michael Smith, who is currently redesigning the White House for the Obama family for just $100,000.

He apparently signed off on a check for $3000 for labor for replacing the light bulbs on those sconces! It is appalling, since Thain (ex-director of NYSE and former Goldman Sachs employee) was the man appointed to turn Merill's futures around. Yup, turnaround alright! From bad to non-existent! Hurried bonuses for top executives, not disclosing the full measure of the rot to Bank of America before the buyout, and grossly stupid excesses define the Bank of America - Merill Lynch union!

This is just one case. Just before the Street came crashing down, at the start of 2007, Todd Thomson was ousted as head of wealth management at Citigroup since tough times called for cost-cutting and Todd's excesses came out into the open! Apparently the office boardroom, which was almost exclusively used by Thomson, had marble flooring and polished wood cabinets. His main office had a house for Flipper, which is fine, except that it was a tropical fish-tank. The office took on a more Forrester Creations look with Persian rugs and a giant wood-burning fireplace. Mr Thomson also ruffled angry feathers with his use of the corporate jet, relegating other executives to 'cheaper' transport, (which I am sure would have been nothing short of First Class on some high priced airline) for the return leg of a visit to China so he could travel alone with CNBC's Mario Bartiromo. Excesses indeed!!!

Next - AIG. CDS took AIG under. And while AIG went sputtering, gasping for help, 70 employees had been rewarded with a week-long stay at the luxury St Regis Resort in California. The bill? $440,000. And look at the audacity of greed (good title for a new book... I stake my claim on that title) , a week later, it came out into the open that the company was planning another trip – but executives cancelled that one.

Finally (hopefully) - Bear Stearns. This story just is the crown jewel of the excesses saga. Jimmy Cayne, long standing chairman of Bear Stearns, wanted to be Tiger Woods one day! He stressed more on Golf practice, and seldom ever came to work on Fridays. When I hear about investment banking jobs from my friends, I get the picture of 20 hour workdays, ears stuck to the phone, fingers glued to the blackberry, divorces, what not! But 'let the company go to hell while I play golf', seems like a fun occupation for earning 8 figure salaries! Even working days called for golf. Manhattan traffic? well, there's no one up in the sky! Helicopter rides to the green - well, golf was an addiction indeed. Nero fiddled while Rome burnt. Well, Cayne putted when BS went under. Apparently when two of his flagship hedge funds toppled, Mr Cayne was very much on course, I mean the Golf course! And when BS finally said goodbye, he was at Detroit at the North American Bridge Championship. Much like the case of old man Thain. While Bank of America implored Congress for additional taxpayer bailout, with Ken Lewis working overtime to resolve the mess, each day discovering new black holes, which Mr Thain had never mentioned, Thain was busy skiing in Aspen Colorado!

India is seeing its worst disgrace ever. Satyam, one of India's largest IT services provider has been embroiled in a dirty fraud. Latest news says 2 PWC partners in India have been put behind bars along with the perpetrators - B Ramalinga Raju and his brother Rama Raju. The fraud? Siphoning funds from the publicly listed Satyam (shareholders' money) into Ramalinga Raju's son's firm Maytas, while falsely depicting augmented cash and reduced debts. Sounds Thainy to you? Very much indeed, except that Mr Raju unfortunately has a prison loo at his disposal.

Extraordinary times bring out extraordinary stories indeed.....

Uneasy lies the head that wears the crown

With a little over an hour to go for the Oath of office of America's 44th President, Barack Obama, the deep significance of the moment, does indeed deserve a thought or two. The weight of the post of the President of the United States, need not be described. Suffice it to say that it is THE MOST COVETED POST in the World. And when a quiet, unassuming man who has a Kenyan parentage actually undertakes the journey and makes it to the end, it seems like a fairy tale. Abraham Lincoln was the father of the Civil Rights movement. He took the bold steps for slave emancipation, an thus earned himself his rightful place in history. Martin Luther King wanted equal rights, the right to vote and be called equal citizens of a variegated America, to be treated with an ounce of respect at least. And from that modest request, America, in an astounding way voted for her first non-white President. In a country where affirmative action begins from refraining the use of the term 'Black', in a highly progressive manner, even predominantly 'white' states voted hugely in his favor. Such were the times, such were the circumstances. America, and indeed the world have been witnessing the gory side of capitalism that borders on and at times is engulfed by greed. Job losses keep rising by the minute. Years of gnarled banking and finance have started a painful tailspin, wherein the Big Daddys of Wall Street are wiped out, without a trace. Billions are being lost at the same time on a war that is globally perceived as being wasteful.

At such a time, Obama offered change. The chance to break free from the current methods and herald in a new beginning. In a very smartly designed campaign that reached grassroots and literally enfranchised the citizens of America, Obama promised the dawn of a new beginning. Not just for the millions of African Americans, but for the everyday common man American, who was afraid for his job, afraid for his ballooning mortgage, tired of the war, and desirous of change.

But even in his wildest of dreams, the reluctant Democratic nominee would not have imagined the toxicity of his inheritance. He would never have imagined the depth and breadth of the mess he was getting to manage. And he has a very difficult task cut out for him. Look at the nearly 2 million people gathered on Penn Avenue chanting the Obamanthem - YES WE CAN. Obama, through his measures and policies is answerable to these million hopes, to the billion hopes watching worldwide. People have traveled from California, Atlanta and even Bahamas, to watch this man take office. They stand braving -20 degrees in cold, with the flame of hope in their eyes. And therein lies the unease. My most memorable dialogue from the Spiderman movie was 'With extreme power comes extreme responsibility'. That holds true here, with the only difference being that in this case, with extreme responsibility comes extreme scrutiny and the burden of matching up to expectations is a daunting task indeed.

So for this uneasy head, the billions of citizens of the world wish Mr Obama THE VERY BEST OF LUCK.... Less than one hour to go.............

My take on the Slumdog phenomenon

First things first. This is not my review of Slumdog. This has been an opinion I have been wanting to write for a very long time. I saw Slumdog Millionaire a while back, and I must say it is a brilliant movie. When it won a slew of Golden Globes, I was highly impressed, as were a whole bunch of people. I felt the music, the screenplay, why the movie itself was brilliant, and the kudos it received, was amazing.

One of my friends pointed out a blog by an Indian, who had slammed the movie and called it a typical western movie. My friend guessed that I might agree with what that blogger had to say. And my take is this. On an absolute scale, this movie is brilliant. The way it has been taken, of every question's correct answer being related in some way or the other to Jamal's life is cinematographic excellence. The 'Rama's weapon' question, is blunt. The hard hit behind the knowledge of the correct answer takes your breath away. At some places the string binding the boy's life to the question's answer goes slack. Like the 'Cambridge Circus' question. However, as a concept, I must say that the movie is gripping and decidedly well taken.

Now the things I didn't like. India is really not a shitty place. And no one is such a huge fan of a filmstar to want to jump into his own poo, just to see the star and get an autograph. The extreme portrayal of filth and dirt in Mumbai, does not do justice to Maximum city. Second, the love story was insipid. According to me, the two looked more like thick friends than anything else. Never once was a look of love visible in either of the two protagonists.

That said, I have mainly two comments. One, if Indians feel that this is a gross affront to Indianness, I'd say, personally I think, NO. Begging cartels are a reality, and it takes a hard hitting reality check to actually get the wheels of action moving. And the bias of the 'pseudo-affluent' towards the humble chaiwallahs, is an undercurrent, not just in India, but the world over. Marie Antoinette is a phenomenon everywhere. But the one thing that really irks me is the fact that almost everyone wants to dwell upon the dirty, awful part of India, which according to me, and I must agree with the Slumdog slammers here, is a little over the top. I feel, and this has been my take for a very long time now, that between every 10 'India dirty' movies and books, let us have at least one book or movie that can portray the India as we see it - vibrant, lively, brimming with hope and progress as well. Face it. I live in India, and I see not just slums and filth, but a lot more - Democracy, safety on streets, festivity, cultural vibrancy and so much more. And I feel that once the media, and the ones that fete art begin to like and applaud Hopeful, Happy India with the same zeal that meets Dirty India, me and also a whole bunch of those who felt that Slumdog was crappy because it was anti Indian, will feel that India is being given her rightful due.

It's always relative!

A friend of mine who belongs to Chennai was going to Delhi for a meeting this week. From the grimy ever hot climate of Chennai, he was going to single digit winter temperatures in Delhi. He 'Facebooked' "Petrified of going to Delhi. Its too damn cold." I saw the snippet, and smirked to myself. Here I am, at -23, enjoying the weather. The cutest part is, no one's on the streets, and there is a scary lull. The branches are still, the sun is bright, almost blinding, and the minute you open the door for the paper, it hits you in the face. Go out and stand, for more than 3 minutes, your nose freezes, tears come out, and your hands get numb. In spite of a fleece, a parka and leather gloves. The cold creeps in.

I came into the house, and over a cup of piping hot tea, turned on my computer. A caption on Yahoo, says - the 5 Coolest Places in the World. Juxtaposition, Ding indeed!!!

After reading this, I said " I craved for shoes, till I saw a man with no feet". I then sent this article with this caption to my Chennai friend, in a mail that said, 'It's always relative'. He then, boldly decided to go to Delhi with no woolen clothes!

Why Mumbai is rude on the roads - an after thought

Yesterday I wrote about an old survey that proclaimed Mumbai the rudest city on earth. I wrote that I agreed with the fact pointed out by many Mumbaikars that the criteria used to judge the cities was too 'western'. A couple of people commented that amongst other cities, Mumbai is a lot more 'sophisticated'. Agreed again. But that said, I ask, of what use is it to compare oneself with those worse off than you? Why not look ahead and try to improve?

Now comes the deal. I thought, where does such a huge difference in road culture come from? Rather why? Is it something in or culture? I guess not, since the first human civilization was Indian - the Harappan civilization. And I guess the lack of civility and politeness is what we're talking about. And then this happened. The other day, a coffee in hand, I got into a friend's car. Talking as usual, we kept driving. At a light, she looked in my direction, and I saw her face turn scarlet. Well, not really red as a beetroot thing, but she asked me to 'please belt up'. Expecting a display of some F1 racing driving skills, I played the joke, saying, "You can't drive that fast!!" At which she said, " Well, if I get caught or seen by the police with an un-belted passenger, my points increase, which means, my insurance premium will be raised. Here I am fighting to retain my job with a mortgage to pay down, the last thing I need is a heightened premium because of an un-belted Indian tourist!"

Oops! I sheepishly belted up and looked straight ahead. (She promised to get me a short mild tomorrow to atone for the loss in temper. Yay!!) But then, since we're on the topic of driving and culture on roads, I thought that maybe people are unruly on roads, since no one will subject the errant drivers to punitive action. An uncle of mine greatly disapproved of my driver's license. He said, "You may be a sterling driver, but on Indian roads, you have a bunch of baboons with blinkers behind the wheel. It's they I am afraid of, not your driving acumen. Perhaps we need to introduce a 'No driving without insurance' law as well, by which our traffic could also perhaps be a lot more responsible.

Ultimately, we are all primates, and primates understand the word of the whip. Many people don't shovel snow from their front yard. The result - snow becomes ice an ice can be awfully slippery. Postmen and other delivery people fall, and sue the state, the resident, whoever. The resident enters into a painful trial, at times back-suing the state, for faulty winter gear provided to the postmen! A measure suggested by the Canadian Government - fines to be imposed if anyone leaves snow unattended.

Eco-friendly regulations. Till the time, that no regulations were in place, people never carried shopping bags to malls. It was the omnipresent plastic bag that flew off cash counter hooks. Till the time people were urged to care for the environment, their eco-friendliness was contingent on convenience. A five cent cost per bag, suddenly brought out all old shopping bags and discarded carts.

But then again, only policing may not be the panacea. Consider the skiing season in Canada this year. 8 people died in a massive avalanche attack in BC. The people and the families held police authorities and the resort authorities responsible. Later sources revealed that the tourists were skiing in 'avalanche - danger' marked areas. Could such a tragedy have been averted if the people had been a tad more responsible? Perhaps. The resort people later said, 'how much or how many can we police? People need to realize that they have families waiting at home.'

It is up to us to weigh the options, and wonder about what we want. Whether we need to lose mental peace each time we step out on the roads, expecting self-regulation, which almost always is a matter of convenience or look for very strict policing in matters that rob our peace. Understanding what we Indians are like (social mores blah blah blah), I guess the latter would only work. What say?

How rude - Mumbai in retrospect

In 2006, there was a survey conducted by Reader's digest, wherein Mumbai was voted the rudest city in the world. At that time, I was up in arms against the survey, since I am a die hard Mumbaiphile. I detest anyone who says anything bad against my city. Yes, we are a crowded city, that is bursting at its seams, our infrastructure is creaking, but we are the city of dreams, and the city where dreams come true.

Ok, I'll stop the rhetoric and get to the point. When that survey came out, I was miffed, since I have lived in Mumbai and know its essence. I know that when someone is rushing to catch the jam packed 7.23 local to CST, its either this train or no train for another half hour. Its either this train or another 'bumboo' from the mean boss. Its either this train or 'kids asleep when I get home late'. At such a time, expecting someone to help the reporter with papers, is insane! Likewise, the holding the door open funda is not a norm, mainly because one, there are hardly any public buildings, and second, the public buildings, have no doors. Our shops have rolling shutters, no doors, and the ones that do have doors are air-conditioned, and so, by typical Indian norms, aer visited by the 'genteel - Duniya Dekha' class. And finally, the shop keeper smiling funda. Just today I spoke to a friend who was in India on a vacation, and he spoke about how he chatted with a Parsi 'uncle' - actually the owner of the tea shop he'd visited. I have gone to so many shops and made purchases, and each time, my thank you was reciprocated with a smile or a nod or a kind word. Then again, I have been to shops in the 'more polite' countries, where since the clerk has apparently had a bad day, my rather large purchase doesn't get even a small hint of a smile.

Now why am I writing about a survey that came out two and a half years ago? Scores of Mumbaikars gave their 2 penny worth soon after the event. But like they say, if you truly like something, be the first to point out faults. So, on the face, I agree with the general population that the criteria selected for judging politeness was flawed, since it failed to consider Desi/ Eastern behavior and societal mores. That assumed, here is my take. Mumbai is rude on roads. Congestion, perennial construction, pollution, crowds, whatever the reason may be, the rudeness is present.

A few things I really found sweet about other countries is the amount of 'bhaav' given to pedestrians. Like in Japan, on main roads, people halt, to give way. Pedestrians seldom ever break a signal, but in spite of that, the politeness is present. In a place like Canada, in winter, a pedestrian is of paramount importance. Motorists wave you ahead, if you stand on a sidewalk waiting to cross. If I am hunting for place to park in a mall parking lot, someone who is leaving, waves to me and says - 'I am leaving hold on'. Two cars on the road, if one is faster, the slower one dips the lights to say 'move on - I won't cut'. And once the move is done, the faster car driver looks up into the mirror and gives a subtle nod. Oh and if you honk, it is assumed that you are in distress, much like the 'Bachao' of Hindi film heroines.

Take Mumbai. If you don't honk, your horn is broken. I may be at the traffic light, which just turned green a second ago. I hear a series of painful honks behind me. Hello!!! I don't drive an F1 car, I don't have launch control. Besides, people fail to understand, that a traffic light in Mumbai is the last place one would want to fall asleep in! Parking ethics - how do you spell that? I will park at 90 degrees to the road, because someone in my car needs to get down, and he/she will not walk two steps. The person will get down at the gate! - Red carpet celebrity to a temple indeed!!! Lane cutting - you can never enjoy a drive in peace. Taxi drivers will swoop in from anywhere and everywhere. For them, all road's a lane, and they epitomise the ultimate level of concentration. They only look straight ahead, and don't care who's at the side. They can never drive in one line. One day, when the traffic lights conk off, there's chaos. Elsewhere, a free left or right turn is commonplace. If I am cutting into opposite direction traffic to take a left, the drivers and the incoming traffic are disciplined and cautious enough. In Mumbai, even turns with signals meet with a blaring horn from some errant party or the other.

Exasperating indeed! I generally prefer to drive with earphones on, so that its Yanni and not some pig snorting horn in my ears while I drive. I once mentioned it to my Delhi friend who is now in the US and she said, "You are such a cribber. Mumbai has the most disciplined traffic in India, and yet you complain" Ahem... I guess... I complained for new shoes until I saw a man with no feet......

Oh and here is the article on the Reader's Digest survey.