Friday, December 05, 2008

An outrageously funny snippet in Pak media

Now, I can't really generalize about all of Pakistani media, but thanks to Youtube, I received a link to an outrageously funny take on the Mumbai terror attacks. Now, I am sure that neither the presenter - a bumbling, clumsy presenter by name Qudsia Qadri (let's call her QQ), nor the guests - some defence analyst and some member of the Pak Parliament would have intended to make the show akin to a sitcom, but the kind of things they said - hideously howlarious.

First, at the start of the show, QQ says that over 135 people are killed in the bomb blasts in Mumbai. Eh? When did that happen?????? Maybe Intelligence needs to take note!!! Second, she speaks about the death of two key people who were investigating the Samjhauta express blast, while they were at the Taj. ???? When did that happen????? Then she goes on about how Pak has been the victim of ire all the time, in spite of their innocence. WHEN DID THAT HAPPEN???????????? Funniest of all. A passport size photo of Mr Ram Jethmalani springs up, and QQ quotes from a certain 'interview'. Mr Jethmalani apparently gave Pak a clean chit, she says. HAHAHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. Now, how do we know whether the voice is indeed his voice - like a blogger noted. Second, the voice said that it did not understand the rationale of terrorists, since terrorists were just accruing global ire against Islamic nations. I didn't hear Pak or clean chit anywhere!!!! Even funnier??? This interview goes across the border, without any of us Indians knowing!!!!!!!!!! And like some intellectually profound thinker, QQ asks - '24 hours on, why couldn't the commandos kill the terrorists?' Ahem, QQ, I guess that's because there were HOSTAGES involved, who incidentally had to be rescued as well!!!!

Then came the guests. One defence analyst, who actually said that unlike in the case of the 9/11 attacks that had been deftly orchestrated by Amaaricans, Indians did a shoddy job in case of the terror attacks on Mumbai. Apparently we Indians tried to garner sympathy and made massive fools of ourselves! He went on to say that these attacks were the beginning of the end of the Indian federation! INTELLIGENCE... PLEASE NOTE.........Then he continued ranting about how the terrorists look Hindu, because one wore a saffron band - not worn by Muslims... Hello..... What about the huge rage amongst youngsters post the Lance Armstrong phenomenon???? Almost everyone wore some band???!!!???????????? AND WHEN HARD EVIDENCE, AND THE WORLD INTELLIGENCE ALIKE POINT TO THE LeT, how did they become Hindu???????The guy had the nerve to say that Indians have no brains!! Try telling that to Sabeer Bhatia, Vinod Khosla, Rajat Gupta, Ambanis, Azim Premji, Narayan Murthy, APJ Abdul Kalam, DR. MANMOHAN SINGH!!!! And all this while QQ says Ji Ji Ji... Hahahaaaaaaaa.. She reminded me of Johnny Bravo! Honest!!!

Then came some Maarvi Memon - MP, of PMLQ. She called Pakistan, India's peaceful neighbor. She spewed venom about how we, Indians, who did not know how to handle our own 'homegrown terrorists' kept training our guns on Pak, without looking at our own 'issues'. QQ spoke of our top 3 terror groups. ' Left Wing extremists', 'Left wing terrorists' and I guess she forgot to mention the third group. Or perhaps someone cut it out, cos it said - 'PAKISTAN'. Hello!! Madam, our biggest issue is on the left side of the Western border, not any other left whatever!!!

But at the end of it all, if this is the kind of crap that is fed to Pakistanis, I feel sorry for them, since the whole world is decidedly having a laugh.... Here is your dose of laughter.... for today....

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